Except that we said we were giving this up. But...after 3 weeks, I just CAN'T.
DOORMAT DIVISION FANTASY STANDINGS WEEK III
DOORMAT DIVISION STANDINGS
NFC
W-L
PF-PA
daBares 0-3 46 - 105
Aints 0-3 60 - 84
Kittens 0-3 56 - 83
Whiners 1-2 45 - 93
Boots 1-2 49 - 80
AFC
Cravens 0-3 70 - 84
Floppers 1-2 51 - 74
Gaguars 1-2 49 - 91
Blots 1-2 66 - 83
Brownies 1-2 58 - 72
STIFF OF THE WEEK
Reelers 12, Lambs 6
There was a touchdown in the game. 2nd
quarter. After that….what kinda sandwiches we got? The Reelers like
to go for 2 almost every time, it increases their chances of losing by 1 point.
But, this is the Lambs we’re talking about here, so good luck with THAT
strategy. As predicted by me, Big Ben goes down in week 3 and throws the high-powered Reeler offense into reverse. Tune in Thursday for the short-week debacle against the winless Ravens (Cravens).
BLOWOUT OF THE WEEK
Whiners 7, Cardinals 47
Sure, the 49ers looked ominously bad last week. But here in the Doormat Division, one week is not enough to earn our respect.
HOWEVER. Today, 49er QB Colin Kaepernick came out with a determination not seen in the NFL in years. TWO pick sixes within the first TWO minutes of play, and after only 4 passes! Completing only 9 passes for the entire game, Scampernick logged in with 4 total interceptions, and at least 10 passes that appeared to be headed in no particular direction! Quoted earlier this week as saying he's "finally being allowed to be himself" but in his usual cryptic way, 'ol Kaep unveiled what he was driving at. WE HAD NO IDEA he could drive a team into the ditch nearly all by himself.
But let's share the accolades- the Whiners have a sort of Marx Brothers circus going on in the defensive backfield that Cardinal QB Carson Palmer was certainly getting plenty of entertainment from. I'm serious, I think I could get open for a quick slant against these guys.
And, just when you thought it couldn't get any better, the Whiners tossed in a safety, and then just stopped tackling in the second half, ballooning the Cardinals rushing totals, 139, far beyond what those guys should be getting.
Keep your eye on this team. They-could-go-all-the-way!!!!!
Next loss- GREEN BAY.
As bad as the O-for-9ers may be, they are a
paltry 4th place in the Doormat NFC. The competition is STIFF.
BASEMENT EXIT?
Raiders 27, Cleveland 20
The Raiders are fun to watch. Derek Carr is
obviously very very game for a wild game. He’s perfect for the Raiders.
They’re just not Doormat material! The Brownies, on the other hand,
are clearly still doing things the Brownie way. Start a washed up
quarterback who has never been good anywhere over the guy that went to rehab,
really really wants to win ball games, and at this point geez just throw him
out there. They aren’t really doing things the Lou Groza way over there
on Lou Groza Way.
The NFC
Bears have an astounding 46-105 point
differential, after getting shut out by Seattle. Lions get to travel to
Safeco next. Lions-Bears will be a marquee game if they can stay winless
unless they meet Oct. 18th. daBares host the Raydurz next Sunday. The Aints had to rest Drew Brees, and even if he plays next week it will
take a real bomb job by the other team to stick a W on the Aints.
THE ENTIRE AFC
The only winless team are the Ravens.
Anybody? Hard to believe they’re the worst of the crop right?
Plus, they get the Big-Ben-less Reelers this Thursday. That’s a
toss-up. I gave up on the Steelers and BOOM, Rothlisberger goes down with
a knee injury just like I predicted. And they STILL can’t lose to the
Lambs.
The best bet might be to hang on to your
team until week 5 or 6 when things start to shape up. And, of course, one
of those teams is going to be 4-2 and then lose 9 of the last 10. But who
that is will take some real serious Tarot card reading.
aaaAAAAAAAAAA- oh, I just can’t type that, the
blog is dead. Long live the blog!
