Hey, how did it get to be 17 weeks to play 16 games? I hear games are taking longer with all the replays, reviews, challenges, and TV ad timeouts. Maybe that's why?
Anyway, we now approach the "Final Destination" weekend for NFL Doormats (Final Destination is the movie series where people nearly miss death but were really supposed to die so Fate stalks them and picks them off one by one for the rest of the movie) . So let's remember what it takes to actually earn a spot on the coveted Doormat Basement Couch--you gotta lose at least 10 regular season games.
Right now, San Diego, NYJ, Los Angeles, Chicago, Jacksonville, San Francisco, and Cleveland have all done an admirable job. But there are still three teams hanging around with 9 losses who could make it to the elite Doormat club and have the chance to eat stale potato chips and drink warm Hamm's beer on the nicotine stained Barcalounger: Carolina, Philadelphia, and Cincinnati. Sorry, Minnesota, at 7-8 you have managed a spectacular meltdown from 5-0, but even a loss to seal an under .500 season will not bring you in from the patio. But we will let you drink a beer around the Hobart when we grill hot dogs on Super Sunday.
And here are the predictions for these Doormat hopefuls:
Cowboys- 38
Philadephia- 17
(Yes, Eagles get in!)
Ravens- 14
Bengals- 17
(Sorry, Bengals, Ravens let down on week 16 and hand you a win)
Panthers- 14
Buccaneers- 24
(Panthers go from Super Bowl to super awful in one season. Nice work and welcome back to the basement!)
And the next question is, will the Niners tie the Browns for worst at 2-14? Well, Niners play the Seahawks, so no problem them. Hawks 38, Niners 12 (2-14). Cleveland plays an angry Steelers team hell bent on making the Super Bowl this year. Sorry, Niners, Cleveland CAN'T win this game. Steelrs 27, Browns 10 (TD with one minute on the clock).
And the rest of the 10-loss crowd predictions are:
Jaguars- 10
Colts- 28
Bears- 9
Vikings- 12
(Sorry, Vikings, you don't even get the patio now).
Bills- 35
Jets- 10
Cardinals- 27
Rams- 3
Chiefs- 21
Chargers- 18
Gentlemen, make your predictions!
Looks like Vikes will win the Parity Division at 8-8.
ReplyDeleteBut let's talk about the one playoff team that can still blow it and miss the playoffs - Our Detroit Lions! The scenario that can eliminate the Lions is: Packers beat Lions and Redskins beat Giants. 'Skins would then be the 6th seed. Lions would be OUT. All other scenarios, the Lions make the playoffs, but they might play anybody (Lions-Falcons sure would be entertaining), even getting a bye and playing the Cowboys...
Ok, let's be realistic. Lions will make the playoffs if Giants beat 'Skins, no matter how they do against the Pack. Of course, they'd have lost 3 in a row as their 'warm up' for the first round, so...they sound ready. Lions should play the Seahawks, unless the Niners for some bizarre reason beat the Seahawks.
Now, LOSING in the first round would extend their no playoff victories streak to 25 still one behind the Bungles, who will chalk up another no playoff victory this year (26 and counting). Of course, the Kitties have exactly ONE playoff victory since 1957. Nobody is going to top that.
-e
Here's the ESPN Playoff Machine, if you guys haven't had fun with this already. It's just my kind of pointless amusement:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.espn.com/nfl/playoffs/machine
Love the Playoff Machine. And I think you may have called it for the Kittens game. As they say in Motor City, "There's still time to lose." But I have to say, I am hoping they get in the playoffs and find a way to win at least one playoff game.
ReplyDelete