Monday, October 22, 2012

The Doormat Division: NFL Week 7 Wrap-Up and Disposal

Raiders 26,  Jaguars 23  (OT)
They say football is a game of inches.  In the case of the Jacksonville Jaguars, it couldn’t be any more true.   Six weeks into this Moldy Carpet campaign, and the Jags don’t need much beyond a generic hardware store tape measure to know how they’re doing.

The Jags are the only team still under 100 points (88);  last in scoring average (14.7), last in yards gained (235 avg),  last in first downs (83/13.8 avg); last in passing (144 avg); and 30th in 3rd down conversions.  They went 1-15 on 3rd down yesterday, though, so look for them to move down in the rankings if they keep that up.

Yesterday, the Raiders and Jags squared off in Oakland to see just who can lose better than who, and it was a DOGFIGHT.  The Raiders started out flatter than six-day old Miller with a cigarette butt in it.   Though they did get the first lead, 3-0 and improved their 31st in the league ‘time holding the lead’ by 3 whole minutes,  the Raiders unleashed a cluster bomb of penalties, turnovers and just plain lethargy rocketing the Jags out to a 17-3 lead.  The booing was even half-hearted.  It was like a library on a slow day inside O.Co stadium.  That’s really the name.  O.

The Jags countered with an injury to RB Maurice Jones-Drew and QB Blaine Gabbert- who the Raiders were making look like Peyton Manning on a bad day (but all-star numbers for Gabbert)- which brought the Jags back into doormat orbit.  The Jags had 8 first downs by halftime- could they actually get 20 for a whole game?  Ah, no.  They got TWO more after halftime.  Backup QB Chad Henne looked about as rusty and unfamiliar with his teammates as this basement is with  cleaning supplies.  At least the cold keeps the smell down. 

As you would expect with this kind of competition, it came down to the final seconds, where the Jags and Raiders punted mercilessly in the last 2 minutes of regulation.  Just dodging bullets! 

Finally, after Sebastian Janikowski came up short on a 64-yard attempt at fame and glory, the Jags got him a little closer, and Seabass won it for the Raiders on the final play of OT. 

Gaguars 1-5 and in control of their destiny for the Moldy Carpet.

Cowboys 19, Carolina 14
Didja see the postgame press conference?  Catch Cam Newton’s tone?  Think he wants to be somewhere else just as soon as possible?  Pansies are 1-5 and alone atop the Doormat NFC.  The sky’s the limit for these guys starting right now. 

Saints 35, Bucs 28
It’s an interesting year at the bottom of the standings.  Lots of high scoring crazy college-like games where bonehead defense leads to scoring instead of just a coma.  We have only had a FEW games I’d call Stiff of the Week this year- you know, 1-touchdown games with 18 punts.  They just aren’t happening.  The Saints and Bootineers play another wild affair with nearly 1000 total yards, and the Saints scrape back into view with win #2.  The Bucs run up and down the field all day and still lose.   That’s my team!

Colts 17, Browns 13
This is ALMOST a Stiff of the Week. 
I’ll be honest.  I thought the Brownies had turned enough of a corner to pull out a victory yesterday in Indy, but I need to get a grip.   Brownies QB Brandon Weeden does not add to league-leading interceptions, but still stays tied with Andrew Luck for 2nd lowest QB rating (72).  Sam Cassell, of course, is way out in front (66).   ZERO running game and better timed stupid penalties and there’s your ballgame.  Brownies first team to six losses.

Titans 35, Bills 34
Another  wild finish between two teams that are victory challenged.  The AFC East logjam breaks in 3, with the forever annoying Patsies on top, the Dolphins, of all teams, in second, and the Jets and Nils into the cellar.  For now.
Only 4 punts!  3 sacks!  No turnovers by the Titanics.  What kind of doormat play is this?
It’s some Ole! defenses, that’s what.

Tonight:

Lions  at Bears

If Lions can come through and blow this one, and I don’t really see why not, look out.  Do note, though, that the Bears are 31st in the league in first downs (101) and if the Lions can stop the long bombs and runs for 79 yards for a minute, they may stumble on a victory. 

NFL WEEK 6  WORST STATS

Points:            6      Seahawks
First downs:  10     Jags
Total Yards: 176    Ravens
Rush:              54    Jags
Pass:              43     Vikings  (and they WON??)
Turnovers:      4      Redskins (3 fumbles)  Lions (3 in red zone)
3rd down con:  1-15  Jags
sacked:            7     Cardinals (building on a big lead)
least sacks:      0     Panthers, Steelers, Colts. 
Penalties:        9-75  Browns
Punts:              9     Jags


aaaAAAAAAand That’s The View From the Basement!!!!


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