Doormats Drive into Brick Walls in Week 2 of Playoffs

I had this dream when I was in high school. Had it several times. I'm driving an orange 1972 El Camino at night on a long, straight blacktop in the Nevada desert. Moonlight paints the landscape. The Moody Blues flows from the 8-track: loud. I have the gas pedal down so far the ball of my foot is getting tired, and the 454 cubic inch V-8 is just banging away. It can be heard for miles in the silence.

A brick wall juts up from the road, like toast popping from a toaster. No time to react. I slam into the wall and I am catapulted from the seat (no seat belt), smash through the windshield, fly through the air, and obliterate my head against the wall. 

Boy, a good time can turn on you in a hurry.

Well, that's what it's going to be like for our Doormat teams in the playoffs this weekend.

First up, the inspired Tennessee Titans. A team Tony Dungey called, "The worst playoff team in a long time." Thanks, Tony. Tennessee rolls into a brick wall called Foxboro to play against a really angry Tom Brady. There is every reason to believe this game will be the blowout of the week. But us Doormat fans will be glued to our TVs as we pray for a miracle. We love it when one our our lowly teams clocks a giant.

Next the Jaguars and the Steelers. Jags not really a Doormat this year, but they just left the patio, so they are a Doormat of the playoffs. Defense is good. Offense is abysmal. Steelers are Steelers. 21-17 Steelers.

Finally, the Vikings verses the Saints. Both of these teams have some spectacular Doormat history, and some great seasons, but the Vikings have managed to blow more playoff and Super Bowl games than anyone. So this game is of great interest to our Doormat hearts. Will the Vikings do it again or wait for the Super Bowl so they can screw it up on the world's biggest stage: 0-5 and Kings of Super Bowl misery. That would be real Doormat panachce!

That's the report from the Oracle. Enjoy your cheese sauce and cheap beer, everyone!