SCAMPERNICKED!!!
The San Francisco 49ers, in the midst of a phenomenal drive to win the Doormat crown and take the Moldy Carpet Trophy, have made a bold move:
They've benched Colin Kaepernick in favor of famous Doormat QB Blaine Gabbert.
49er coach Jim Tomsula was quoted as saying "We're getting some quality losses with Kaeperstink..I'm sorry Kamperdink...wait- look, he's been doing the job, but there's been no flair to it, we haven't had any multiple interception games in three weeks and not a single sack-fumble-returned for a TD all season. It's just not exciting losing. We think Blaine can take us to a new level."
And why not? Blaine Gabbert has distinguished himself in the Doormat Division as a man that can throw an interception, and especially drop the pigskin at a crucial point in any losing cause.
His career stats speak for themselves:
With the Jags:
40 sacks and 14 fumbles in 2011alone.
24 interceptions vs 23 TD passes- 3 year career.
Sadly, Blaine could not deliver a Moldy Carpet trophy in Jacksonville in his three years there- but he was right there twice.
He was hampered by coaches who really just weren't bad enough. That problem has been eliminated.
Now, a historic opportunity is staring him right in the face.
This man could pick up right where Kaep has left off and start fumbling his way to glory immediately. It's chancy, for sure, as Kaepernick has proven his mettle for melt-down repeatedly this year. Why break it if it isn't fixed? But, you know, the game is for the fans, and we think Blaine will definitely start throwing balls to just about every part of the field that contains defenders. It's going to be a wild ride in Frisco!!
-wacko
