Cheeps and Pheebles Bound for Glory in Athens

An amazing season has ended, with two of the worst teams we have seen in a very long time, the Philadephia Pheebles and the Kansas City Cheeps, locked and definitely very loaded for Doormat Bowl 2013 to be played in Olympic Stadium in ancient and magical Athens, Greece on February 4, the day after the Super Bowl.

Why Athens? Well, it was available. There was supposed to be a mock sea battle there on February 5  with replica ancient Greek ships sailing in a lake of olive oil in the center of the stadium, but a Greek worker on a break accidentally set the oil on fire with his cigar and burned the entire fleet during a practice. So the stadium is now available, though the field is a little slippery.

"Of course we welcome Amerikans to play Amerikan football here," said Likos Malachikos, mayor of Athens. "Greeks invented football. In fact, the word football comes from the Greek word Ped, which means foot, and Americans pronounce it Foot, and ball comes from Greek, "Balk" which means to shove into the ground and make to eat grass. An old shepherd's game from the days of Pericles."

Malachikos added that the average Athenian appreciates a good party when they should be at work, so Monday afternoon should be a great time for the game and the stadium should be full. "Not much else to do around here on a Monday," he said, "Unless you like to work."

"We are looking forward to playing in front of 100,000 Greeks drinking Ouzo and picking up seats with their teeth," said NFL Commissioner Roger Godell. "Greeks love a party and rarely give a damn what is happening on the field. That should work out well for these two miserable teams. Thank God we don't have to watch."

And speaking of Greeks, we will provide a full pre game analysis in the coming week. But for now, we will pay homage to Jimmy the Greek, one Greek who did know his football but not how to keep his mouth shut or at least his opinions to himself.

Jimmy Snyder was bounced from picking winners when he made some racists comments we won't repeat here. However, we bring him out of the tomb here  to make a prediction for the Doormat Bowl.

Kansas City-- 36
Philadelphia-- 32

Unless Chip Kelly is allowed to coach for the Doormat Bowl, then Jimmy is picking Pheebles by 2.

And that's the view from Athens right now.