Puntfest 2010
Here it is, getting late in the season, and suddenly the SeaHags @ 0-4-9ers game is looking HUGE. I refuse to say ginormous. I also won’t say prestidigitator, either, but that’s another story. This could be one of the Marquee Doormat games of the year. The NFC Worst don’t have much marbles to play with, but the ones they got are all on the table, mis-shaped and ugly as they may be. If Seattle wins, the NFC Worst has a team with a winning record, and the dream begins to fade. If the 0-4ers win, which I seriously doubt, they can keep their feeble feeble feeble playoff hopes alive, because they could still mathematically make 8-8, and 8-8 is going to do it in this division. And, I mean the NFC Worst, because 8-8 for SURE doesn't do it in the Doormat.
Marshawn Lynch has resurrected his career in the Seattle backfield after getting the Nils jinx rubbed all over him so bad it followed him home and escorted him to the local police precint station multiple times. It got so bad, the cops would just show up at his place first thing in the morning, set up a coffee stand, and just wait for him to attempt to move or park a car. In Seattle, you don’t need a car- you need a boat.
The Oafers (0-4ers) may not have nose tackle Aubrayo Franklin, which is critical even if nose tackling was made into a personal foul last year. Seattle may just drive a Boeing 747 through a couple of those holes.
Even more intriguing is fumbling 0-4er coach Mike Single-minded’s decision to put whipping boy Alex Smith back in at quarterback after it was discovered that Troy Smith didn’t actually know any of the plays and once opposing defenses kept him the pocket, nothing happened. And if you are going to have NOTHING HAPPEN, you might as well run Alex out, who is the better Smith at these things.
The Hags pummeled the 0-4ers, 31-6, in the first game of the season, and the bog that is Candlestick Park in December will suit them just fine. Will Singletary again thank coach Carroll for kicking his butt, again, or go all-in and do a Gatorade dump? It’s as close as he’s going to get for one of those, so pay close attention to final seconds, they will put the finishing, final, coffin-nail touch on San Francisco’s descent into…say, when’s spring training start?
Brownies at Nils
Well, here I was, ready to do proper props to the Brownie Way, when they go and win two in a row. You only have to either be just one game under .500 or win 3 in a row to have your Doormat status taken away, and these guys are in danger of doing BOTH.
And this game is the ultimate test. This is bragging rights for Mistake by the Lake (any Great Lake qualifies you)! The next two weeks, at Buffalo and then the dreaded trek across Bunglonia, will put the resurrection of the Brownie Bake Sale franchise to the true test. They’ve beaten the Pats, Saints, Jags, and Dolphins. So what? Can you beat the teams you’ve been living in the Cellar with for the last 10 years?? Come back…stay with us…
I didn’t select that ORANGE couch completely at random, you know. Brownies should just dismantle the Nils, but here in the basement, all bets are off when it’s Doormat time.
Green Bay at Detroit
Things are glum at the Kat Box. After the Kitties logged their 7th Come From Ahead loss, it took all week for the grounds crew to bring in enough kitty litter to cover last week’s steaming heap, and they should have just waited until this one was over. The Packers already have 200 yards in passing offense and kick-off isn’t until 1pm Central.
Atlanta at Pansies and Lambs at Saints
Blow-out of the week. U-pick.
Buncos at Arizona
Wow. STIFF of the Weak. Maybe the year. Puntfest. Things are so bad in Arizona, they put somebody else in at quarterback. Think how little confidence they must have in those bench-warmers when it took until the 13th week of the season for the Cruds to try something else. Buncos just fired their coach, which is always a big red flag in losing culture. Buncos should have a field day…on the field.
aaaAAAAAND THAT’S THE PREVIEW FROM THE BASEMENT!!
I know it sounds self serving, but I had a premonition at the beginning of the season that the Lambs would beat the Saints. It was actually a fear that the Lambs would win and cause all my friends in New Orleans to hate me more than they already do. If you get a vision from the land of Gris Gris, you better take it serious. Who dat say dey gonna beat dem Saints? The Lambs, Bra.
ReplyDeleteSaints can play down to ANYBODY. And everybody plays their best game against the reigning champs.
ReplyDelete