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| Nathan Petermen puts on a historic Doormat performance in just a few snaps. Here he tries to review the play he just botched while getting sacked by the Ravens. Nathan, ya gotta read the play BEFORE the snap. |
Whoa, the Bungles already played...and WON! The Oracle therefore predicts Ravens 23, Bengals 34.
And now for some actual predictions. In Week I we saw a lot of surprise performances, and even some big wins by our Doormats, but this week reality will sink in like a 6 penny nail through the sole of your Red Wing boots. Ouch.
But before we spin the frozen turkey and make our predictions, a quick list of the 5 worst quarterback performances of Week I (from worst worst to 5th worst):
- Ben Rothlisberger (because he should be a lot better than just OK)
- Derek Carr (he is hearing ghost elephants behind the pocket. I can't make fun of that)
- Matthew Stafford (Four interceptions. Doormat gold. Kittens are baaack)
- Nathan Petermen, passer rating, “0” (Look for sacrificial lamb on Wikipedia and you see a photo of him taking a snap). Bills made a strong statement in week one: “We will make only bad decisions this season.”
- Jimmy Garoppolo- The honeymoon might be over. The win streak definitely is.
And the predictions....
Colts- 12
Redskins- 14
Game of the week! Oh, oh, Skins might be 2-0.
Texans- 21
Titans- 17
Eagles - 36
Buccaneers- 12
Sorry, Ryan, reality is coming like a brick wall.
Dolphins- 10
Jets- 36
D'Arnold says, “I’ll be back.”
Chargers- 42
Bills- 7
Browns- 15
Saints- 33
1-1-33, wow
Lions- 16
49ers- 17
This one is worth watching. A game no one will appear to want to win
Raiders- 14
Broncos- 21
Did not think Raiders would be a doormat this year, but plunk, here they are.
Giants- 14
Cowboys- 17
Stinker of the week!
Seahawks- 24
Bears- 17
A team that might be a doormat defeats a team that is a doormat.
They pulled him before he cojld break the interception record. Not fair!
ReplyDeleteHe could have eclipsed it in half a season. The sky was the limit.
DeleteOr the bottom of the Marianas Trench...
DeleteHey I figured out that the new Chrome (GOOGLE's own browser!) is the problem. If I use Safari, I can comment no problem. How ironic.
Deletethe saints played a doormat last week (boots) and they lost, this week they play another doormat, who makes these schedules?
ReplyDeleteSomeone who likes the Saints...
DeleteConsidering the Saints went 11-5 last year, they should have a tougher schedule. They are playing the entire AFC North this year. The Bucs were supposed to be better, but that's asking a lot.
Deleteand, of course, Tampa Bay is in the Saints division.
Delete