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| Raiders stagger out to sea after taking on torpedoes in Miami. |
As
the NFL set sail for the 2018 season every team proudly launched their
ships. Some of them soon started to list and the rudders were not
responding. Pittsburgh is one. Patriots are another. Not usually a
Doormat team, the Pats appear to be taking on water before the season is
past game 4.
But the Raiders are truly in flames. Last week they sailed into the harbor at Ft. Miami, shelling the Dolphins with one broadside after another, but late in the game the "SEAL" 'Fins ran deep and detonated a torpedo just below the magazine, and Pirate Ship Raiders exploded. They left Miami still in flames. This week they drift back under the Golden Gate and into Oakland to face Cleveland, a team that, for the first time in five years, believes in itself. They may sink just outside Treasure Island. Well, at least they won't have to sail to Vegas. Anyway, several other teams are in flames: Cardinals, Texans and Titans come to mind. I think I see smoke in New York, New Jersey, and Atlanta.
But in the meantime, here in the Basement, we are stocking up on Pumpkin Spice Latte ice cream, cheap bourbon (I think the label said Hood River Distillery), and a pony keg of Hamm's. Lots of hot dogs on the grill, too. I cleaned up the place with a leaf blower, and kicked the fridge twice and it is holding steady at 49 degrees (in the bottom drawer).
The Oracle now takes the ceremonial frozen turkey from the freezer, and spins it for this week's predictions!
But the Raiders are truly in flames. Last week they sailed into the harbor at Ft. Miami, shelling the Dolphins with one broadside after another, but late in the game the "SEAL" 'Fins ran deep and detonated a torpedo just below the magazine, and Pirate Ship Raiders exploded. They left Miami still in flames. This week they drift back under the Golden Gate and into Oakland to face Cleveland, a team that, for the first time in five years, believes in itself. They may sink just outside Treasure Island. Well, at least they won't have to sail to Vegas. Anyway, several other teams are in flames: Cardinals, Texans and Titans come to mind. I think I see smoke in New York, New Jersey, and Atlanta.
But in the meantime, here in the Basement, we are stocking up on Pumpkin Spice Latte ice cream, cheap bourbon (I think the label said Hood River Distillery), and a pony keg of Hamm's. Lots of hot dogs on the grill, too. I cleaned up the place with a leaf blower, and kicked the fridge twice and it is holding steady at 49 degrees (in the bottom drawer).
The Oracle now takes the ceremonial frozen turkey from the freezer, and spins it for this week's predictions!
Vikings- 10
Rams- 28
(Not
really a doormat game, but the Rams have been a doormat for mostly the
last 12 years, and the Vikings always feel like one, especially last
week. Cousins got the big paycheck and the big stage this year, if he
doesn't deliver a Super Bowl, it's walk the plank time, matey. This is a
preview of maybe the NFC title game. Sorry, Vikes.)
Jets- 12
Jaguars- 28
(Jags get their mojo going again. Jets flame out again. D'Arnold tosses two pics.)
Dolphins- 17
Patriots- 14
(Whoa,
Dolphins were picked by most experts to win maybe 3 games this year. Patriots
look slow and old. Is it the end of an era? It's definitely the end of
the poop deck. Don't drop back too far, there, Tom!)
Eagles- 46
Titans- 10
(Eagles get "it" back. Titans just get it.)
Texans- 14
Colts- 24
(Hey, Luck looks good. Texans are toxic again.)
Bills- 10
Packers- 33
(Bills, you may have shocked the Vikings, but the Packers will not be buffaloed.)
Lions- 14
Cowboys- 10
(I
don't know why Vegas is picking the Cowboys by 4. Everyone always
overestimates these guys. This might be the last game Detroit wins this
year.)
Buccaneers-
Bears-
(Sorry, can't really do a prediction. They are not doormats right now. WTF?)
Seahawks- 36
Cardinals- 9
(Two field goals in the 4th for Phoenix. They are the class of the Doormat Division this year.)
Browns- 21
Raiders- 18
(Raiders have the lead...again...and lose it in the 4th. Shake 'n Bake era is on in Cleveland. Bad teams, beware!)
Saints- 42
Giants- 17
(Brees throws for 500+ yrds. Saints finally win a game without a heart attack.)
49ers- 3
Chargers- 17
(Chargers are 1-2?)
Chiefs- 36
Broncos- 8
(No comment)
(No comment)
The Oracle from the Basement has spoken!
Gentlemen, make your predictions.
the way the Chiefs just blitzed past the 49ers last Sunday...I hadn't seen that since the Kurt Warner Rams in 2000.
ReplyDeleteI can't see the Seahawks figuring out how to score more than 20 points. If the Raiders can keep the pass rush down to zero, Baker is going to have an easy game of it. The only way to rattle a rookie is bum rush him all day.
The possibility of the Dolphins being 4-0 sets them up to be the best late season flameout so far.
I sincerely believe the NFC North is completely up for grabs.