WORST OF THE NFL
WEEK 3, 2012
Remember, the team with the best chance to LOSE has the
edge
GAME OF THE WEEK
Kansas City Chiefs at New
Orleans Saints
They did an exhumation in a boggy cemetery in New Orleans
last week. Curiosity got the
better of the faithful, and they just had to see for themselves if the AINT
wasn’t in the box anymore. They’re
buying monkey hands and doing the voodoo and dodging the gris-gris like crazy
this week in New Orleans, but help is on the way.
The Cheaps are coming to the Big Easy! They Cheaps did some probing of
their own this week only to discover that their players are, in fact, meatheads. The smoked barbecue flavor is excellent, by the way. These two teams
are tied for the lead in points allowed, so something’s gotta give. It’s the Cheaps.
The generous nature of Midwesterners comes to N.O. just in
time.
EDGE: CHEAPS
INDIANAPOLIS COLTS at JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS
Well, they didn't have to do any probing in Jacksonville. When you've got a hole in your head the size of a....football, there's not much to go looking for. Also noted this week that many of the players did not actually have bodies, but were just pants with no-one inside them.
Which is scary if you have to go picking snide in the middle of the night in a snide field nine miles wide. The Gaguars defensive secondary is going to feel like they are covering a nine mile wide field against Andrew Luck.
EDGE: GAGUARS
BUFFALO BILLS at CLEVELAND BROWNS
The good people of Cleveland were given a ray of hope last week in the nuclear winter of Cleveland sports. An offense showed up on the Brownie side of the ball. This threatens the Brownie Blank Helmet offense to the point where they are in serious danger of winning this game. It's all up to Ryan Fitzpatrick, and which team he decides to throw the ball to.
EDGE: EVEN
PITTSBURGH STEELERS at OAKLAND RAIDERS
The Steelers demonstrated last week that they aren't a bunch of cupcakes just yet. The Raydurzzzzz showed that they are. With the depleted defensive secondary now decimated with injuries and the linebacking scene stretched to the point of cheap toilet paper from Costco, the Raydurzz have one last chance at self-respect, and then they can start mailing it in. Raydurzz the surprise disaster of the season (they look WAY worse than the Aints).
EDGE: Rrrrrrrrraydurz!
DETROIT LIONS at TENNESSEE TITANS
Coming off yet another grinding loss to the 49ers, the Lions pull into Memphis and get ready to torch the Titanics. The Titanics so far are outperforming all doormats- lowest points scored (23) and biggest point differential (49). They're ALREADY mailing it in.
EDGE: TITANICS
BLOWOUT OF THE WEEK
SAN FRANCISCO 49ers at MINNESOTA VIKINGS
YIKES....and away!!!
STIFF OF THE WEEK
ST. LOUIS LAMBS at CHICAGO BEARS
I am only calling this the Stiff of the Week because I forgot to assign it to anybody else.
The Bears found out last week just how far they are from being competitive in their own division, and now they have to contend with a perennial doormat that is actually trying to become a football team.
If the Lambs have any kind of pass rush, they can get Jay Cutler backpedaling and heaving footballs in random directions all day long. If they don't, they get torched.
EDGE: LAMBS
aaaaAAAAAAND THAT'S THE VIEW FROM THE BASEMENT!
