WEAK IX FINAL

The Cellar Division Weak IX FINAL




























Cheeps Get a Horse for some blocking, but to no avail.

By doing absolutely nothing, the Lambs regain first place. Now that’s the Sheep Dip, baby!! Brownies also retain first in the AFC by spending the weekend airing out their corns. But watch out for them Cheaps.

Bootineers 38 Packers 28

Tampa Bay Bootineers WIN! Bootineers WIN! The ranks of the unvictorious are ZERO now. No perfect season in the Cellar this year, gentlemen. I guess donning the throwback unis really drove the point home and made a lot of skin crawl, because Tampa explodes for 21 points in the 4^th quarter, trampling the reeling Packers, who better watch themselves or they’ll find themselves in the BASEMENT, sipping right off the spigot of our 4-week tapped keg of Blitz, which I kept in storage for 37 years for just such an occasion. That’s the perfect Football beer, you know, based on name alone. Scoring 38 points with less than 200 yards of offense takes some serious screw-ups by the oppostion.

Also, the Boots fall to third place in the NFC division. Lambs back on top!

Titanics 34 O-&-Niners 27

The only reason my beloved O-&-Niners aren’t back in the Cellar is the Pansies lost again (admittedly to the best team in the league, the Saints), and they have a worse point differential. Another week of this kind of play, and with error prone Alex Smith at the helm anything is possible, and baby they’ll be back.

Titanics get only 14 first downs but score 34. That’s a lot of gift fumbles and interceptions. Honestly, the Titanics are the best bad team in the league, and may just climb right out of the Cellar in the next 4 weeks. They were still good for 8 penalties, most of which were offsides drive-killers. They aren’t out of Bonehead Forest yet.

Ok so much for Winners. Too bad for them. The Kittens, bless their little furry hearts, cough up a game to the Seahags (Seahags avoid entrance into the Cellar by the skin of their beaks) after racing out to a 17-0 lead, with QB Matt Stafford completing 5 passes to Seattle, including the game killing final pick returned for a 61 yard TD in the waning moments of this bleak affair in the land of Twilight. Maybe they should go play baseball in Forks! It couldn’t get any worse.

The Floppers, still flying under the radar in the Cellar, keep on losing despite leading in almost every game they play. Yesterday’s 27-17 stumble-loss to the Pats is no exception. These guys are leading the league in games blown. It’s gotta hurt down there in Miami, even if the humidity and the heat keep your joints happy. And there’s nothing like a happy joint…Ricky Williams must be thinking about that right about now. No Ricky, No! Just go lick a frog instead.

Wow, the Deadskins really are pretty freakin’ bad. 10 penalties for 88 yards. Atlanta came out and chewed them up and it was over by halftime. Nothing else to say here, move along.

And YES! My guys, the Cheaps, win the fewest first downs battle this week, getting only 14 with a time of possession of 23:47. Oh, wait they tied with the Titanics. Oh, well. It’s only because the Brownies didn’t play. Hey they still LOST, though and THAT’S WHAT COUNTS. Cheaps have now lost 475 out of 477 or something like that. I know it’s closing in on more than two seasons with only 2 wins.

AAAAAAnd that's the VIEW FROM THE BASEMENT!