NFL Week 14 Predictions: Eagles in 5-car collision in fast lane

Wow. The Eagles, or Pheebles, as we like to call them here in the basement, have put together one of the most impressive swan dives in recent history. The Pennsylvania Highway Patrol had to scrape them off the road after a life in the fast lane collision with a semi tractor trailer hauling 48 caged Panthers on their way to a circus. Is that Bill Clinton working as a cop, now?

Anyway, welcome to the Doormat Division Philly! We have stocked up on frozen cheese steaks in your honor and the beer, though flat, is actually cold today thanks to a replacement refrigerator we picked up at a yard sale this week. It's a frosty 42 in there now. The old one was humping along at about 62 degrees. Not so good for the bean dip. It was kinda pink, but it tasted OK. What did Oscar Madison say? "It's either very new cheese or very old meat."

Y'know, it's kinda a trend like if ya think about it. Ever since Donovan (Hurdy Gurgy Man) McNabb came to Philly the pundits have predicted a Philly Super Bowl almost every year. Why do they do that? Why do they pick the Eagles to go to the big game every stinking year? How many times have we seen them do a swan dive now? In the last four years, at least four times. They may not be the worst team ever, but they have to be the most underperforming franchise in history.

And speaking of meat, let's get to the grisly, fatty, flabby truth here and take a big bite out of this weeks spinning, frozen turkey.

And the predictions are.....

New Orleans- 35
Atlanta- 38

Jacksonville- 12
Buffalo- 14

Indianapolis- 44
Detroit- 38

Houston- 17
Tennessee- 10

Carolina- 14
KC- 0

San Francisco- 17
St. Louis- 14

New England- 30
Miami- 17

Arizona- 21
NYJ- 17

Tampa Bay- 17
Denver- 28

Cleveland- 21
Oakland- 18 (OT)

Cincinnati- 28
San Diego- 21

Philadephia- 10
Dallas- 12

NYG- 36
Washington- 21

Gentlemen, make your predictions!