DOORMAT DIVISION: NFL WEEK 16 PREDICTIONS

AS THE TURKEY DOTH SPIN IN YON

 DANK AND DINGY BASEMENT

CHARGERS at JETS

 Mark Sanchez and Philip Rivers are neck and neck for the most total turnovers in the league.  It’s a Doormat Battle for the ages as these two teams try to salvage their doormat cred by making one last desperate heave towards 10 losses.  However, Greg McElroy will be under rump for the Nyets on Sunday, so that means Rivers may have the turnover lane all to himself, and Sanchez can do nothing but grab a clipboard and hope his 26 TOs will hold up.

EDGE to lose:  CHARGERS

REDSKINS at EAGLES

 Once again, local pundits are picking the PHEEBLES to win one.  Fat chance.  RGB III is back and that’s enough for us.  And even if he isn’t they still win.  The Eagles are terrible and played their last tough game last week.  It's Tee Time in the Pheebs locker room.

EDGE:  Eagles

PATRIOTS at JAGUARS

 Gaguars get to host Pats coming off first home loss since the Johnson administration.

EDGE to get BLOWN OUT:  JAGS

BILLS at DOLPHINS

Bills are the better turnover machine.   More stressed defense.  They’re getting their 10^th loss on Sunday.

EDGE:  BILLS

COLTS at CHIEFS

Though the Titans and the Jets played the Doormat Game of the Year last Monday ,  the Chiefs bring it every week like clockwork.  They have no quarterback.  Remember that.

Andrew Luck’s 25 turnovers are not enough, because the Chiefs will do nothing with the ball.  Nothing.   NOTHING.  Big news on the Chiefs news page is how the bodies of the two men executed for the 1959 killings that became famous in the book “In Cold Blood” are being exhumed.  I’m not kidding.

EDGE:  CHIEFS

TITANICS at PACKERS

That 17 yard punt that couldn’t seal the loss on Monday was something else.  Lights out in Lambeau, though.

EDGE: Titanics

FALCONS at LIONS

Hey, the Lions should bounce back after an embarrassing loss, right?  28 points to the Cards, right?  Have you watched this team?  Falcons keep it close, but then stomp the team that stopped listening to their coach 7 weeks ago.

EDGE:  LIONS

RAIDERS at PANTHERS

The Raiders are terrible on the road, and have been for 10 years.  They got to feel like a real team last week, beating this year’s punching bag, the Chiefs.  Raiders blocking schemes starting to click, running game improving.  It will be closer than expected, but they still lose.

EDGE: RRRRRRRRAIDERS!!

RAMS at BUCS

Wow, this one is hard to call.  The Bucs have turned it around and lost 4 straight, while the Lambs still have a shot at finishing with a winning record.  Good Grief!   Bucs lost 41-0 last week.

EDGE:  RAMS

GENTLEMEN, MAKE YOUR PREDICTIONS!!!