THE DOORMAT DIVISION WEEK 2

THE DOORMAT DIVISION

WEEK 2

Wow!  What a Week 2!!   There's NO telling where this is leading, as the Parity Monster begins to rear it's ugly head already.   Browns win at the last second!  Toxins 2-0!!  Bills 2-0!!  Lambs win!   The Raiders, of course, got clobbered.  Someone has to maintain the status quo around here.  Looks like maybe the skittish decided the Vikes weren't doormat material a shade too soon. They were back to their usual hijinks yesterday. BUT YOU NEVER KNOW.  

In the NFC, the Gnats look like they're shaping up to be the cream of the creme, already minus 32 in point differential.  Bucs prove they can lose to the Lambs, no small feat, in what was the Marquee Doormat game of the week.  And the Seahawks, at the opposite end of the football spectrum, hold the ball for a measly 17:25 against the Chargers, who shredded that Seattle defense like cheap iceberg lettuce at a fly-infested taqueria.  They're eating guacamole out of a Seahawk helmet tonight!!

THE AFC-   Who has it better than Jacksonville?  Nobody!  They get pummeled by the Deadskins as if the 'Skins are Super Bowl material.  And, in my boldest prediction of the season, the Brownies will finish the season in the Parity Division.  Celebrate the mediocrity.  It beats the alternative.  

Chiefs looking like Doormat material, though really they will probably beat up on the really mediocre teams.  That still may only get them to 6-10.   They are headed for the 10 Club this year.   

Teams in italics are not any of our current franchises.  Pretenders to the throne.   

DOORMAT DIVISION STANDINGS   WEEK 2

NFC             W-L              PF       PA

NY Giants     0-2               28        60

Tampa Bay    0-2               31        39

New Orleans  0-2   58         63

St. Louis        1-1              25         51

Washington   1-1               47         27

Dallas            1-1              43         38            

Detroit           1-1              42         38

AFC                              

Jacksonville   0-2                27       75

Kansas City    0-2               27       50

Oakland         0-2                27       49

Pittsburgh     1-1                 36      53

Cleveland       1-1               53       54

Miami           1-1                43       49

p.s.  Yes, readers, I am aware we missed the beginning of the season.  It's not my fault 'Fish had to call me from India to tell me the season was starting.  How am I supposed to know football has started? I've been living in a mobile home outside of a single A ball team's field-  I almost got into a game.  That mascot suit was sweaty.  But, you know what?  Let's get realistic- this is the Doormat Division.  How would it look if we were right on time for the start of the season?  What kind of precedent would that set?  A terrible one, let me tell you.  Next thing you know, you'd be demanding mediocrity from us.  NEVER FEAR, dear devoted Doormat Denizens, will not let you down.

aaaaAAAAAND THAT'S the VIEW FROM THE BASEMENT!!