NFL WEEK 1 WEEK WORST STATS and...TIME OUT!!

CHAGRINS 21, BRONCOS 24

(in hushed tones) "Phil Mickelson is lining up his putt, here on the 18th green here in Augusta. He makes this and he wins the U.S. Open, making the most incredible comeback of his career....he's ready...he's.....TIMEOUT!!!!!!   The putt went in, but Rory McElroy has called timeout, pulling the red timeout airhorn out of his golf bag just in time, and he'll have to do it again. Boy, that airhorn is kinda unnerving, but Phil will just have to line it up again."  

Or..."if Carmelo can make this last free throw, it'll cap the most improbably comeback ever by the Knicks, here in the Garden.  He's lining it up, he's going into his motion....WAIT TIMEOUT BY THE WARRIORS!!!  The shot doesn't count!  He'll have to shoot it again.  Boy, that's the 3rd straight time Coach Kerr has called timeout at just the last second. Gosh, the drama is just building, isn't it, Femur? "  "It's incredible, Diffy, but the Dubs still have a 20 second timeout to use, so anything could happen."

Absurd, you say?  But, mon ami, in zee NFL, we do it  all the time. The Broncos did it to the Chargers last night, and pulled out the victory, 'time-outing' the Chargers rookie kicker, who made the field goal...and then missed the next one.

In no other sport is is it OK to call timeout right when someone is going into their motion to complete a play.  No other sport allows the play to happen, and nullify it. Perhaps, just PERHAPS teams shouldn't be able to call timeout after the players are set out there on the gridiron. This has to be the most annoying gaming of the game I can think of. It's just...stupid, and we DO stupid here in the Doormat Division.  

Chagrins lose at the end one more time, because Roger Goodell is a dope.  

AIN'TS 19, VIKINGS 29

Saints lose.  Sure enough.  Just like we drew it up.  

NFL WEEK 1 WORST STATS

Points: 0                      Bengals

First Downs:  10          Colts

Total Yards:  203         Texans

Rush: 35                      Giants, Steelers

Passing: 110                Texans

Passer rating: 28.4      Bengals (Dalton)

Yards Allowed: 537      Patriots

Turnovers:  5                Bengals

Interceptions:  4            Bengals

Lost Fumbles: 3            Texans

3rd down conv. :  0-10  Colts*

4th down conv  :  1-4    49ers

Red Zone:   1-5  Saints,  0-3  Bengals

Sacked:  10-54yds       Texans  

Punts:  6                        just about half the league.

Penalties:  13-144         Steelers 

Time of Poss:  20:47     Seahawks  (almost under the magic 20!)

*almost nobody ever goes 0-fer on 3rd downs.  Very rare.