THIS WEEK'S DOORMAT SPECIAL!!!
The New York Giants made a bold bold move yesterday, benching longtime star Eli Manning in favor of Doormat All-Star Geno Smith. Geno, who etched his name into Doormat lore in just two bumbling seasons as a starter for the NY Jets, surfaces- like an old corpse popping up in the East River on a cold, cold, cold day in November- just in time to guide the Flailing Giants into Oakland, California to see if he can't improve on the Giants negative turnover differential, which is not keeping pace withe league leaders.
After all, in just two years as a starter, Geno sailed 34 interceptions (and 7 fumbles) compared to just 25 TD passes! While that may not be George Blanda's single season record of 42 ints (and how he did that, I mean, WHOA), it's really only because they stopped letting him throw after a while. But, pay attention now, the Giants have NO running game, so Geno will be dropping back and throwing, so even the brick-handed Oakland defense will get some chances. Somebody call Lester Hayes and see if he has a can of Stick-Um in the garage!!!
Obviously disenchanted with Eli's tendency to not turn the ball over enough, and even worse, keeping the Gnats close enough to possibly win a game, Giants ownership had to make a move. What with boxing great Michael Crabtree out with a bruised ego, the depleted Raiders need some help, and the Flailing Giants are UP to the task. Up Up Up and DOWN DOWN DOWN.
Nothing less than the Moldy Carpet (and next year's #1 pick) is at stake, so siddown, Eli, we don't need your 'help' around here.
I'm more impressed than I've ever been, here in the Basement. This is a real, true, Doormat moment.
I'll be back with the Worst Stats!
-wacko
agreed, it looks like they really want to lose to the Raiders, who were already playing short handed. I feel bad for Eli though because he had a streak going. And I feel bad because I have the raiders in doormat fantasy league.
ReplyDeleteyou really just can't catch a break.
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