Vikings Stomped in Cat Box by Raging Giants

Brett Farve sat on the sidelines for the first time since 1992 and the Minnesota Yikings, who traveled all the way to Detroit to avoid losing again at home, were stomped in the Kittens Cat Box 21-3 by a Giants team desperate to save its season. The Yikings managed only 162 total yards and the Giants pretty much smashed their faces in the ground and made them eat cat litter all night.

The collapse of the  Metrodome some say is a sign from Odin that the Vikings will never win a Superbowl until they start playing outdoors again. As the following photo clearly shows, it's better when the Vikings crush people on a frozen tundra called a football field. Wouldn't it be great to see teams like Dallas or Miami having to play in Minnesota in the playoffs in January?

Oh, Snap!

Oh, I get it now. The Lions got a call from the Fallen Inflato-dome Yikings and said...."suuuuuure you can play in The Cat Box. Be our GUEST." Even though the scent of victory was still hanging over the litter from Sunday, Lions officials were pretty sure the overall, uh, ambience of the season would carry the Yikes to the assumed outcome.

[There are so many things that the Yikings have done wrong this year, but, honestly, Brett Favre could've played if they'd just played outdoors. His WHOLE BODY would've been numb over at Gopher Stadium, so what's the deal with just a hand? Side note: I hope the U of Minnesota people have secret tunnels under the field...I mean, c'MON.]

And what an outcome! 21-3! No touchdowns, 10 first downs, 164 total yards (more than DOUBLE than yesterday's Cheaps, though -67!!!!), TEN punts! Ten punts is the upper stratosphere, guys. It's really hard to get that. What a stinker.

So HATS off to the Detroit Kittens for playing gracious host, and giving a true DOORMAT welcome to the new guys, the Minnesota Yikings.

DOORMAT CRITERIA

We have a Criteria Obsession around here, and the main one is:

You have to get 10 losses or you are not worthy.

with yesterday's humongous L, the Yikings (5-8) are eliminated from playoff contention, and can now concentrate on the more logical goal, 10 losses. 5 teams have already crossed the 10 threshold, and 11 more have a shot, including the entire NFC Worst (though maybe impossible for all of them, what with divisional play coming up).

OK, that's going to have to do for now. What a season!

The Schedule

OK I finally looked at the schedules for our teams, but I've quit caffeine again, and so my brain fog makes it impossible to deduce anything.

Other than maybe I should have looked at these BEFORE making my choices. The NFC west is terrible. The 49ers could WIN the division. Now that's just wrong. For example, it is probably a bad idea to pick any team in the Lambs divison. That's two victories right there. Seahags may be bad enough to drop one to Lambs.

If the Kittens can get past Chicago, they could lose their next 7 games, easy. The Lambs get to play a whole SLEW of cellar teams, and Sam Bradford, if he doesn't get a concussion each week, could win more than 3 games. Lambs don't play a contender until week 6, and then only Atlanta, 49ers (twice) and New Orleans after that. It's Downy soft. Pansies have good-team/bad-team schedule (almost every other week, it's quite unique).

Sleeper team: Denver Bongos. They could be just horrible.

Cleveland, despite the 4 wins to close it out, can aspire to the Moldy Carpet because they have a monster schedule rife with playoff teams. Cheaps may have a better defense, but their early schedule is the stuff disillusionment (and boy was that hard to spell at 7 am) is made of.. By game 6 (Jags), KC should be leading league in sacks allowed.

Maybe just ONE cup of tea.....