BLANK HELMETS 27, CRAVENS 33
Never, ever count the Cleveland Browns out of a Doormat contest. Pow! Blam! KaBlam! BOOM!!
With :04 seconds left on the clock, and the game tied, the Browns commit their entire oversized line to blocking for a 51-yard field goal attempt, and completely fail with such art that the kicker shanked it hard left and caromed off the line and into Raven safety Will Hill's hands, who takes it all the way down the left sideline, with Cleveland kicker Travis Coons getting trampled in the stampede, and hits the end zone for a Kick-Six TD with no time left on the clock. KaBLOOEY!!!
What an amazing finish, considering Baltimore QB Matt "Let me lose this for ya" Schaub had just connected on a ghastly interception at the Craven 48, setting up the Browns for the game-winning field goal try.
But NO. Browns fans are still trying to find the will to leave the stadium, even in the freezing cold and even though they really don't ever want to come back. They're just going freeze to death right there. I cannot, cannot, believe the lengths the Browns go to to just flat out kill it on the football field. The Titanics are just going to have try even less if they want to be Doormat champs this year, because the BROWNIES are livin' the Moldy Carpet.
The Cravens tried, no doubt about it. They started Matt Schaub- two fabulous interceptions. 2-11 on 3rd down...but the Blanks had the special team double bonus- give up a the first punt return for a TD, and end the game on a blocked FG try for a TD. BOOKENDS of Bumble. The Browns also buried Johnny "Coach I was drinking milk and cookies" Manziel on the depth chart and nearly blew it with backup QB Austin Davis coming in for McCown and looking better than any of them, and nearly won the game. Luckily, he burned 30 seconds at the end of the game doing what god only knows, but he took the ball after all that time burn and slid inbounds to force a timeout and make it so the field goal had to happen NOW. Whew- disaster avoided.
There they are, fans of futility, our Brownies rule the roost. 2-9 and in First place in the AFC Division.
DOORMAT EXCELLENCE!!!!
-wacko
