Tuesday, November 1, 2016

Double Back Flip Into the Trash Can Week 8 Wrapper Glued

It was a great week in the Doormat Cave, and we gave away all the Halloween candy, which was a relief from having to watch Monday Night of the Walking Dead (Bears vs Vikings).

HERE ARE THE STANDINGS

AFC

Cleveland - 0-8
Jacksonville - 2-5
San Diego - 3-5
Indianapolis - 3-5
NY Jets - 3-5
Cincinnati - 3-4-1

NFC

San Francisco - 1-6
Chicago - 2-6
Carolina - 2-5
Arizona - 3-4-1
New Orleans - 3-4
Tampa Bay - 3-4
Los Angeles - 3-4

Bears 20, Vikings 10, Panthers 30, Cardinals 20
Wow. The Walking Dead of the NFL have come off the mat with a few surprises this week, sending Vegas into a whiskey slamming swoon. Da Bares suddenly discover which end zone is theirs and slam the shaky Vikings 20-10. Jay Cutler throws for 252 yards--he missed the last 5 games--and Jordan Howard scampers for 153 yards. Yikings look strangely familiar. We might keep a spot on the couch warmed up for you. Meanwhile, the Pansies also rise from the dead and bash the Cardinals, who are in a steep swan dive right now.

Jets 31, Browns 28
At least the Brownies found a way to lose, handily folding in the fourth quarter to the Jets and perfection at 0-8. They even tossed in the meaningless TD in the last minute to make it look close. It wasn't. If the Jets thought they were the worst in the NFL, they had another thing coming. Nobody else is the Browns, nobody.

Titans 36, Jaguars 22
Over 800 yards of offense, only one turnover, 52 first downs. This was a doormat game? Jaguars storm for 14 pts. in the 4th, but still manage to get in the "L" column.

Chiefs 30, Colts 14
Yawn. Luck is sacked 6 times, throws for 200 yrds and a pic. Indiana goes out for a pizza in the third quarter.

Saints 25, Seahawks 20
Seahawks starting to have the Tiger Woods syndrome. Everyone keeps waiting for them to win, and it just doesn't happen. Soon it will be two years since the Super Bowl and memories will dim. Meanwhile, Saints continue to play as the best under .500 team in the NFL. Brees has an off day with only 35 passes and 265 yrds.

Raiders 30, Tampa Bay 24
Tampa Bay makes it scary with a 14 point rally in the 4th to send it into OT, but the home team fans still get a loss as Derek Carr tosses a 42-yrd. bomb to set up a field goal and the win. BTW, Carr thew for 498 yrds. and the Raiders masses 628 total yrds. of offense.


AAAaaaaaaaaaaand that's the view from the Basement!

3 comments:

  1. The Raiders win at the last minute almost every single week.

    Brees will get to loosen up against that wide-open 49er defense next week- at home, ain't it?

    Browns have made 4 of their losses look closer than they were.

    Next week there is the potential for half the league to be 4-4.

    Browns play Dallas at home- haven't beaten the Cowboys at home since 1988.
    Actually, have the Browns WON a game since 1988?

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  3. Jags are solidly in the basement. the game was 27-nil at the half. 36-8 with 12 minutes left, but the Titans (in typical doormat fashion) tried to steal the loss from the jaws of victory by instilling a strange set defensives that allowed the toothless jaguars to score 2 TDs. the final TD was on the final play of the game so nah really that close of a game. Go gags !

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