Yes, even in the Super Bowl, you can play like a Doormat. Nice reception, there, Cowpoke. That is why ANY game can turn Doormat on you (See Super Bowl 48). And so we turn to tonight, with two not-so-long-ago-doormats in an NFC West clash as the St. Louis Football Cardinals come stomping into Edward Jones stadium in St. Louis to play the Los Angeles Rams. Er. What was that? Oh, yeah, they moved.
So the Arizona Cardinals will visit the old family manse and play the Rams in St. Louis. Rams are on the verge of earning some serious cred in the NFL and are hungry to dominate a Cardinals team that appears to be on the way down. The Cardinals already won too many games so it is inevitable they will wind up in the playoffs--for a cigarette--and then they will be gone. So why not get the big time losing going right now? That's why we are predicting the Rams will take this one 21-9. We will have the space heater fired up and the hot dogs on the grill here in the Doormat Cave tonight!
As for the rest of the hopefuls...
Pittsburg vs. Atlanta
Atlanta has struggled to win, has lost spectacularly, and won't change tunes now, especially with Big Ben lasered in on the playoffs. Atlanta 27, Pittsburgh 38.
Washington vs. NYG
Oh my god, how could anyone want to see this game? We could! This is a golden moment for some of the worst football in a decade. NYG no match in the end. Giants 28, Skins 10.
Oakland vs. Kansas City
A world class doormat that doesn't seem to be one right now playing a very good team that can't shake its doormat legacy. Nobody will want to win this game bad enough. OT, Chiefs 17, Rayduuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuz 14.
Jacksonville vs. Baltimore
It's go-time in the AFC North. See ya later, Gags. Jacksonville 3, Baltimore 24
Tampa Bay vs. Carolina
I lived in a crappy apartment on top of a seedy biker bar in SE Portland once, and the bikers were mostly posers and one day a real bike gang rolled in to play pool and all hell broke loose. The local bikers definitely took it on the chin. And that is what this game will be like. Lots of ugly on both sides of the ball, but the home team gets the worst of it. Tampa Bay 10, Carolina 7. The NFC South is really gonna heat up now!
Cincinnati vs. Cleveland
In what ought to be a doormat matchup we have an actual gem of a game with real playoff consequences. Who will lose first in this battle for Ohio? Johnny Manziel, that's who. 400 yards of passing, three pics, two touchdowns, Bengals 36, Brownies 21.Welcome back to the basement, blank helmet football!
Minnesota at Detroit
You never know who is going to win when these two snow belt teams get into the Kat Box, and we don't either. No prediction.
NY Jets vs. Tennessee
A fabulous Doormat match up with missed blocks on the rocks and few fumbles for starters, followed by a nice bottle of Bozo Noir with a mixed signals salad sprinkled with penalties, and then on the to entree with a fumble in the end zone and two pic sixes. For dessert? Five penalties to move the Jets from the Tennessee 20 to the 45 and a missed field goal as the clock runs out. Jets 20, Tennessee 21. Jets have a serious shot at the moldy carpet now.
San Francisco vs. Seattle
Not really a Doormat game, but should be the nail in the coffin. Niners take an early 7-0 lead and then Seahawks 48, 49ers 7. Can the season end now? No.
New Orleans vs. Chicago
At least the shopping should be great on Michigan Ave. I would also make reservations at Ditka's Steak House on the north end of the loop and forget the game. Saints 23, Bears 10. And boy does the NFC South get interesting.
It's been a great season, and with the drama in Dixie unfolding, well, we couldn't ask for a better end to a great season. Thanks to the Raiders and Gags winning a few, and chaos in the South (which will definitely not rise again this year), there are 5 teams with a legitimate shot at the Moldy Carpet.
Enjoy the ride, Basement denizens.
gotta get to TV for tonite's game of musical cities. The power went out during the storm, but what I really need to know is if you're from St louis, do you root for the Crudinals or the lambs? and if you're from LA do root for the Lams or the raiders? I know what they do in Phoenix so.... back to the predictions, to help the oracle, I am predicting Lions beat the Yikes, because of the dome field advantage. I also predict I will be at the local sports bar on sunday watching the titanics trying to best the Nyets futility. that sounds like fun. out.
ReplyDeleteMy new neighbor downstairs has that Dish thing where she can watch ANY NFL game. I'm just trying to figure out how to convince her to watch only Doormat. she's a Bengals fan (from Kentucky).
DeleteHaving lived in the STL area and having been a Football Cardinals fan--loved watching them in the Lomax days--I can tell you that St,. Louis hated the owner Bob Bidwell so much they ran him out of town. He begged the city to help him build a new stadium and they refused. Football in old Busch Stadium was a nightmare. Horrible field. OK for baseball but not football. He moved the team to Arizona and the very next year the city agreed to build a stadium for the Rams. So people in STL hate the Cardinals and will not root for them. There was one exception, when Kurt Warner went to Arizona the St. Louis fans were rooting for him all the way in the Super Bowl against the Pats. That, by the way, was a great game. Anyway, if you are talking Raiders/Rams, well, Raiders are really from Oakland and were never accepted in LA so an LA fan is probably going to root for the Rams (and I think many in LA would love to have them back.
DeleteLomax played at Portland State, he was the original run and shoot (read option) quarterback, but not really mobile. More like Big Ben. He lumbered laterally and fired darts down field. He had a great arm. I saw PSU beat Cal Poly 107-3. What a game. In STL he never had an offensive line and spent most of his career running for his life and getting sacked. Too bad, if he had been picked up by a better organization he might have played in a Super Bowl or two.
I saw one game where Portland State beat Delaware State (coached by Roman Gabriel) like 93-7 or something and when we arrived 5 minutes late for Cal Poly it was already 21-0. Mouse Davis was the originator of Run and Shoot.
DeleteI don't remember who said this, but it was a sportscaster describing Neil Lomax:
"Looks like someone put out a fire on his face with a track shoe"
I'm pretty sure Roman Gabriel coached Cal Poly
DeleteYes, that make sense that it would be Cal Poly and after his Redskin acting career didn't pan out. Grant and I were talking about PSU Saturday night and we both remember walking in at 21-0. And it wasn't D State, but Delaware, who are Blue and Gold and known as Mudhens...
DeleteTNF was a Kickfest and a Dizzying Display of Doormat Dysfunction. Reduced to 3rd String QB's, and short on 1st downs, Arizona won 4FG's - 2FG's over the Lambs.
ReplyDeleteOn a positive note, I believe Jimbo is now below .500
I hear tonight's game was epic. Jimbo under .500 for at least 2 days.
ReplyDeleteRaiders- Chiefs: Raiders have stopped giving up 30-point games, keeping teams under 20, and in the last 4 games have 10 sacks, after having only 8 in the first nine games. Also, Alex Smith STILL hasn't thrown a TD pass to a wide receiver all season.
ReplyDeleteRaider's defensive coordinator Jason Tarver, I'm not kidding on this, put together a video of on-field celebrations after big plays, and had the team watch it during regular film sessions. This is what caused the near disaster in Oakland when they won their first game- celebrating way downfield while the Chiefs lined up to go and nearly getting the penalty for an automatic first down, and the game clock winding down. The guys were just following coaches orders and celebrating after the play! The players, however, say they thought the film session was cool, and it brought the team together to play with passion and celebrate together. So, all sorts of incorrect Doormat strategy going on there. Raiders can still play terrible when they de-focus, but I'm not holding out much hope for them to win the Moldy Carpet at this point.
oh my. watching videos of celebrations.
Deletethey hadn't seen one in person.
DeleteI'm not sure how you call 52 points 'keeping teams under 20'
DeleteThere is so much to like about this post. First, there is the picture of The Cowboy in the end zone levitating his feet. Wtf? Serioiusly.
ReplyDeleteNext is the Neil Lomax acne comment. Ouch!
Then you have the whole Raiders celebration story. How could anything so stupid go so horribly wrong?
Plus, we have the festival of field goals. The Leg couldn't do it on his own. He just needed any player offense or defense to catch a damn ball.
Finally, Jimbo - hey, that's me! - gets under .500 $$$$ woot woot!