THURSDAY NIGHT DOORMAT THRILLER TONIGHT!!

Thursday Night Doormat

Tonight:

 Gaguars         vs         Titanics

Completely outdoing themselves, Thursday Night Football concludes it's season of Doormat showcases with the biggest game of the Doormat schedule.  Tied for the lead in the Doormat AFC at 2-12 (along with the Raiders), this is a MUST LOSE game for both teams.  3-13 is not going to win the crown this year.  The Moldy Carpet, and something called first round draft pick, is at stake here.  

The Gags will host this football facsimile at EverBanking on the Losing Teal stadium, led by the league's frowsiest mascot, Jackson DeVille.  Jackson really put his foot in it earlier this season with his crass and classless ebola joke, but dodged the firing squad (except the paintball incident), apologized for being a boob (that's the team spirit!), and still has a job.  He is often the funniest mascot in the league as are the cheerleaders the hottest in the NFL.  At the other end of the spectrum is the team.

These teams are league leaders in OFFENSE:  Jags 31st and Titans 29th  DEFENSE:  Jags 28th, Titans 29th  POINTS SCORED:  Jags 15.1 (last 32nd),  Titans 16.5 (29th),  PUNTING: Jags 9.2 a game (2nd) with the Titans a meager 7.9 (4th).   Individually, Jags QB Blake Bortles is only one interception off the league lead with 17 (chasing the on-fire Jay Cutler with18).  Though the Titanics are not exactly likely to go nuts, they DO have 12 interceptions this year, a surprisingly high number for a team that is challenging for the Moldy Carpet trophy.  So, if you are paying attention, this means the Titanics have a chance, however slim, of getting saddled with a pick-six, which would quite likely be the only touchdown of the game.  

The only questions are: will Josh Scobee kick 3 field goals or 4, will Titan QB Jake Locker get a chance to get in the game and blow it, and will either defense be able to avoid balls just lying there on the turf, or harmlessly wafting right toward them through the air?  This promises to be this year's Slufgest game (no touchdowns and winning total not over 9).  

THE GAME IS A COMPLETE TOSSUP.   DON'T MISS IT.