Week 8 Predictions and Musings from the Oracle

Tampa Bay Buccaneers huddle before kickoff.

The Raiders are 5-2. 5-2. Really? How did that happen? Sadly, we will not be able to write about them this week, or maybe even the rest of the decade.

But we can write about the NFL Walking Dead, and with Halloween coming, it's fitting. These are teams that should be six feet under but are still, somehow, still staggering through the season and in the hunt. We are talking about Miami, Cincinnati, Baltimore, Indianapolis, Tennessee, and Tampa Bay. Let's face it, none of these teams are going to make the playoffs, but they are still within one game of their division leaders. So enjoy it while you can, home team fans, because the cliff is coming, your Jeep is in overdrive, and the brake lines have been cut. Enjoy the fall, and we will put an extra pillow for you to land on the Doormat Basement Couch! (Bring a six-pack, OK?)

And now, for the perennial Zombie teams that stalk the NFL, here are this week's predictions: 

Jacksonville- 21
Tennessee- 32
(Why so many points? Because when two teams this bad play each other, anything can happen. Look for this to be the Doormat tilt of the week!)

Washington- 28
Cincinnati- 21

Kansas City- 28
Indianapolis- 14
(If I am wrong and KC loses, it's panic time at Arrow-in-the-head Stadium.)

Oakland- 36
Buccaneers- 16
(Hey, we have two pirate teams playing. Bucs walk the plank.)

Seattle- 9
New Orleans- 33

NY Jets- 17
Cleveland- 21
(Yes, Cleveland is going to win a game but Lord I hope not. It would ruin an otherwise perfect season. This is probably the best Doormat matchup of the year. You won't want to miss this game!)

Arizona- 13
Carolina- 12

San Diego- 17
Denver- 7

Minnesota- 42
Chicago- 3
(Bears commit 7 errors and leave 14 men on base.)

49ers don't play this week so they will have a great Sunday.

Gentlemen, make your predictions!