NFL Predictions Week 3: Doormat Style

Cam Newton (left) just after signing with the Pansies.

It's going to be an interesting Doormat Thursday Night Football as Cam Newton and the 1-1 Carolina Pansies take on the 1-1 NY Giants--a team that should be losing, but somehow keeps winning anyway. Last Sunday, Newton gave up on his receivers and opted for the upfield scramble as the primary source of yardage. It worked and the Pansies came away with a win against New Orleans, a team teetering on Doormat status. Will the Pansies win again? Will they get to the third step on the long stairway out of the basement? Will the Giants finally decide to behave like the mediocre team everyone says they should be? Or will Eli Manning work magic again? Who knows. But with a spin of the sticky-with-beer-it-don't-work-no-more remote, the Oracle predicts:

New York Giants- 38
Carolina Pansies-31

And the rest of the predictions....

St. Louis- 3
Chicago- 24

Buffalo- 28
Cleveland-0

Tampa Bay- 17
Dallas- 24

Detroit- 36
Tennessee- 10

Jacksonville- 7
Indianapolis- 16
(Stiff of the Week)

New York Jets- 10
Miami- 17

San Francisco- 35
Minnesota- 0
(Yikes!)

Kansas City- 12
New Orleans- 10
(Gonna be a great Doormat game. Ain't try Voodoo, but it doesn't work.)

Philadelphia- 24
Arizona- 12

Pittsburgh- 21
Oakland- 3

Cincinnati- 14
Washington- 17

Gentleman, open a beer, and make your predictions!