Sunday, December 11, 2016

Disaster of the Week: Bungles vs. Brownies

It's the battle of Ohio, a twice-year exercise in shockingly bad football played by two teams that really hate each other, so there is usually a lot of fun. What we are talking about it today's game between the Bengals and the Browns.

The Bengals–Browns rivalry has produced 2 of the 8 highest scoring games in NFL history. The Bengals lead the series 47–39. Over the 5 decades of this bottom-feeder mud wrestling match, the Bengals have never lost more times than the Browns, and in the 1970's the record was 10-10. Yes, the Browns have out-Doormatted Cincinnati consistently for over 50 years.

But what about today? Cleveland is on the march to a historic 0-16 season, but if there was ever a game they would fail to lose, it will be this one. 

So the Oracle spins the frozen turkey on this all-important day in Doormat History and, sorry Cleveland, the turkey has spoken, Cincinnati 17, Cleveland 14. 

And now for the rest of the pile:

Redskins: 36
Eagles: 28

Cardinals: 17
Dolphins: 21

Chargers: 28
Panthers: 13

Bears: 8
Lions: 36

Vikings: 21
Jaguars: 10

Jets: 13
49ers: 6
(This is the game to watch this week, even over the Battle of Ohio)

Saints: 21
Buccaneers: 24

Falcons: 42
Rams: 7

And though this is not a Doormat game, it feels like one, and I am going out on a limb here with a large black bird and croaking out: Ravens-28, Patriots-21. 

Gentlemen, make your predictions!

2 comments:

  1. 49ers are at home, Jets are stunningly bad. Saying the Whines will 'rebound' might be the wrong term, but they laid the golden goose egg last week, frozen as it may have been. They still have a Doormat All-Star defensive backfield, and it's up to Fitzpatrick to overcome their ineptitude and still rack up a pick-six. I hate to say it, but I think the Whines are going to win this one.

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  2. Can the Vikes keep losing? Can Blake Bortles burp up another pick-six? Jags in serious danger.

    Browns will lose this one, but not right away. It will take late game moxie.

    Bucs getting the hang of winning. Good grief!

    Rams a massive train of losing now.

    Everybody loves to see the Panthers lose- why should they disappoint the fans?

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