JAGUARS UNVEIL NEW HELMET
REFLECTING OVERALL FRANCHISE BRAIN POWER
DOORMAT DIVISION WEEK 11
NFC W-L PF PA DIFF
Santa Clara 2-8 230 266 -36
Arizona 2-8 145 248 -103
Tampa Bay 3-7 267 329 -62
NY Giants 3-7 215 263 -48
NY Giants 3-7 215 263 -48
Detroit 4-6 222 263 -41
Philly 4-6 205 231 -26
AFC W-L PF PA DIFF
Oakland 2-8 170 293 -123
NY Jets 3-7 208 254 -46
Jacksonville 3-7 176 219 -43
Buffalo 3-7 137 251 -114
Cleveland 3-6-1 218 263 -45
NY Jets 3-7 208 254 -46
Jacksonville 3-7 176 219 -43
Buffalo 3-7 137 251 -114
Cleveland 3-6-1 218 263 -45
CHIEFS 51, RAMS 54
It may have been the greatest shoot-out since my neighbors moved away, but 5 turnovers by your QB gives you special mention in the Doormat. Chiefs QB Patrick Mahomes throws 3 INTs, two in the final 1:13, the third one for a pick-six, and drops 2 fumbles, one for a fumble-six. The other fumble resulted in a TD a few plays later. The fact they still were in it, and scored 51 points, is nuts. But wild inaccuracy tends to lose games. Mahomes had it at the end. But for those turnovers, the Chiefs might have won going away. Where they were going away to I dunno.
JAGUARS 16, STEELERS 20
Steelers had no business winning this game. But that's okay, because the Jags are on a mission to make their fans forget they were in the AFC Championship game last year, leading the Patriots 20-10 early in the 4th quarter. See? You'd already forgotten. Jags fans running out of unmarked pills in medicine cabinet, resorting to snorting random dust in junk drawer.
RAIDERS 23, CARDINALS 21
Raiders win a game in the desert, yet still own worst record in the AFC. It's nice to have a cushion when adversity strikes. Cards hold tie-breaker over Raiders now. Gonna be a tight race to the Moldy Carpet. In the locker room after the sweat-breaker, Cards QB Josh Rosen flatly stated his team "is the better team" than the Raiders. It always gets confusing when losing puts you in first.
LIONS 20, PANTHERS 19
A week after getting plastered 52-21 by the Steelers, the Panthers shave two points off their point total, and squeak by the Lions, who were forced to take the victory at the Kat Box in Detroit. Lions fans confused by not having to bury this game in tortured psyche.
BRONCOS 23, CHARGERS 22
The Broncos are clearly just not bad enough, Boris. Chargers play throwback game, blowing 19-7 third quarter lead. Broncos bring home the weekend's biggest upset.
BUCS 35, GIANTS 38
Leading 24-7 early in the 3rd quarter, the Giants staged a furious fade, but could not wreck the afternoon for the Meadowlands fans (I don't even care what it's called out there these days). Aware that he had a chance to catch up to the Jet's Sam Darnold in the interception race, the Buc's Fitzmagic was in full blowup mode, with Fitzy slinging 3 interceptions before Jameis Winston got into the game and started the Futile Comeback.
I think this was Fitz's last game starting for...just about anybody. Giants have won 2 in a row. Good GOD. Coach Pat Shumer was talking playoffs PLAYOFFS? PLAYOFFS? in the post-game presser. Somebody needs to calm down.
EAGLES 7, SAINTS 48
It's not the Saints fault they can't find somebody to keep up with them. Eagles QB Carson Wentz fires 3 interceptions, and clocks a 31.9 passer rating for the day. Remember Nick Foles? Who? Remember the Super Bowl? The WHAT? Does somebody have a ring I can look at for a minute?
Defrost your Turkey, after the frozen turkey bowling at the super. Cran your berries. Pump your kin, and- wait no, that sounds wrong. We're hoping for rain, here in California. Supposed to rain Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. That will be something to be thankful for.
Enjoy your Thanksgiving, Doormat Fans. Hug your loved ones. Hug the ones you maybe you'd rather sack for a huge loss. Gather round. Huddle up. Fill your plate.
Cheers,
THE DOORMAT DIVISION
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