NFL Predictions Week IX: Who's the Worst?

The last time the Browns narrowly missed the Super Bowl was in their close loss to the Broncos in 1990 thanks to a key fumble late in the game. Denver got over the win. The 49ers handed Elway and the Broncos the biggest (at that time) Super Bowl  blowout in history. Broncos, BTW, have the three biggest face plant performances in the Super Bowl.

First week of the season with an “X,” and that makes me think of ex-champs...

Playoff Misery History

LIONS
All-Time Playoffs: 20 Games, 7-13
Wild Card Round: 9 Games, 0-9
Divisional Round: 5 Games, 3-2
Conference Championship: 1 Games, 0-1
Championship (pre-1966): 5 Games, 4-1

BROWNS
All-Time Playoffs: 36 Games, 16-20
Wild Card Round: 4 Games, 1-3
Divisional Round: 14 Games, 7-7
Conference Championship: 5 Games, 0-5
Championship (pre-1966): 13 Games, 8-5

BILLS
All-Time Playoffs: 30 Games, 14-16
Wild Card Round: 7 Games, 3-4
Divisional Round: 11 Games, 5-6
Conference Championship: 6 Games, 4-2
Super Bowl: 4 Games, 0-4
Championship (pre-1966): 2 Games, 2-0

Who is the worst?

All of us here in the basement debated this deep metabro question over a nice afternoon on the patio grilling Tater Tots and Polish sausage. Sausage was served on a bed of crumbled pretzels and sauerkraut. Actually, it was cole slaw but it kinda got left out for a while. It tasted good, and the vodka—we were sure—killed anything it chased.

But to the debate. The Lions have the worst overall playoff record, but Cleveland, all agreed, was the Patriots of the 40s and 50s, so their fall is great and the 0-5 AFC Conference Championship record...well, the pain is much greater. Just ask anyone at the Clark Bar in Cleveland.

BTW, going by the TRKY stat, the Oracle had 85 percent accuracy in predicting last week’s games. This week our top six Doormats in the league are:
Cardinals (-9.5); Bills (-9.1); Raiders (-8.1); Dolphins (-7.1); 49ers (-6.9) and NYG (-4.4). For a little perspective, the Chiefs are +12.6.

And now for this week’s predictions. Just picked up a frozen turkey at the Piggly Wiggly for a all new spin on the games: the Turkey says:

Raiders-17
49ers- 21
(Doormat Game of the Season! These two teams have put together some impressive and unexpected losing and are now meeting in Santa Clara in a blistering battle for the bottom.)

Bears- 24
Bills- 10

Chiefs- 42
Browns- 23

Jets- 24
Dolphins- 21

Lions- 15
Vikings- 28

Buccaneers- 36
Panthers- 28

Titans- 17
Cowboys- 21

Packers- 28
Patriots- 33
(OK, this is not a doormat game, but the 3-3-1 Pack are teetering at the top step to the cellar. They may be an official doormat if they don’t win this one. Unfortunately, the Turkey says they won’t)

The Oracle has spoken!