Weak I Preview 2010

And so it begins...the sacks....the fumbles....the missed assignments....the inexplicable delays in the huddle....the shanked punts....the blown coverages....the empty seats...

The Doormat Division kicks off- some might say BOOTS- the season!!!!

Gosh, it's only Weak I and we have two CRUCIAL Doormat (hard not to write Cellar) tilts.

Kittens at Care-Bears. Chicago has every chance of being The Unbearables, and they get their chance in the first game. Detroit has one of it's best chances at a victory today. This could be a season defining game, when you consider that one or two victories is what it takes around here. Chicago definitely on the watch list for the division.

Kittens 13, Unbearables 6

Brownies at Tampa Bay- are the Brownies improved? How will we know in this game? The two teams that come out of these games with a ZERO in the win column have the early inside track. Tampa Bay has made no discernable improvements over last year, other than less throw back games wearing the ultimate loser uniform.

Brownies 24, Bootineers (Bums) 14

These scores are impossible to predict, of course, because when you have TWO bad teams get together, the score can end up 44-41.

BLOW OUT OF THE WEEK:

hard to call, actually in this first week- I think we're going to get a shocker-

Raydurz at Tennessee? Raydurz got rid of Mr. Slurple. that's good for 17 points.

Cardinals at Lambs? I hear the Cards have been using a life-size cut-out of Kurt Warner most of the preseason, so it may be hard to run up the score. Sam Bradford.....duck.

Miami at Buffalo. any game with the Nils in it is blowout potential. although, they DO have a defense. They just don't have a way to score.

Bongos at Gaguars- not blowout material, and actually dangerous game for Gaguars, because they might win. Could be inverse blowout. a Blow-in. Imploder.

Pansies at NY Giants....wait, anybody got the Pansies?

Seahags vs. Niners- this game will be so boring. Oh my gosh. 6-3.

OK, get the Barcalounger positioned, put the worst beer you've got on ice, grab the half-eaten 14 lb. bag of Costco chips leftover from the Super Bowl that you threw in the corner and forgot about....is that guacamole still good?....and THROW THAT SPHEROID DOWN THE FIELD!!!!