DOORMAT DIVISION WEAK II PREVIEW

Doormat Division Weak II Preview!

EXXTRA EXXXXTRA EXXXXXXTRA BAD!!

There will be a lot of dust settling over the worst bunch of losers we’ve seen in some time this week, as we have THREE divisional head-to-head matches. We’ll know who the real Pansies are after this week.

Games of the Weak

St.Louis Lambs at Oakland Raydurz

Sam Bradford will not throw 50 passes because the The Silver and Blacked Out (it’s a home game, dude, thank you, NFL, for this merciful bounty) are having Stephen Jackson Day out at the Mt. Davis Stadium.

Anybody wearing a Stephen Jackson uniform that is also ON THE FIELD will be allowed into the secondary on any given play. The Lambs, on the other hand, will be eating grass all afternoon, especially Bradford, should he be fool enough to drop back behind whatever passes for a line on that ‘team.’ This week will answer the questions on everybody lips in Oakland: Will we go 2-14, or 4-12? Can we injure Sam Bradford?

LAMBS 21, Raydurz 4

Kansas City Cheaps attend Cleveland Brownie Bake Sale

Cheaps may not be the first team to use Incredible Downpour as their gameplan, but nobody’s done it better. Out at Slip n’ Slide Stadium, their offense scored because somebody slipped, the punt return was a Keystone Cops kind of deal, and the goal line stand at game’s end, well, you can’t call a STAND. So, if it’s not a complete deluge on Sunday, Brownies get Brownie points and get one in the win column.

If Cheaps win, I quit.

Brownies 17 Cheaps 0

BLOWOUT of THE WEAK

Saints at 0-and-Niners

This should be a beat down beyond all dimension. The 49ers are pointing fingers, all at the offensive coordinator, Mike Singletary has gone around biting reporters all week, sounding like a paranoid bully (great for team morale) and Alex Smith is still QB and he still doesn’t know which guys are his receivers. Give him another year, I’m sure he’ll come ‘round. He’ll need a year to come ‘round after tomorrow.

Saints 45 0-and-Niners 14

THE REST OF THE LOSERS

Kittens 0, Eagles 37

Kitttens host Philly: Michael Vick gets the start, Shaun Hill is taking the snaps for the Lions (which actually gives them a chance)…..Kittens are toast.

Gaguars 10, Chargers 37

Seahags 24 Broncos 23

I really have to change teams.

TampaBums 6, Pansies 13 Third intramural game of the week!!

This could be the STINKER OF THE WEEK. These teams are LAME. In fact, they both are switching to silver lame’ pants. Who are the Nils playing?

Nils 3, Packers 24

Nils do have a defense. In fact, they have so much defense that half the offense is defense. Pack shouldn’t get 45…but they might.

aaaaAAAND that's today's Weak II preview!