Defenseless Football Dominates Doormat Docket in NFL Week 10

First of all, hats off to all Veterans for serving and defending our great country!

And speaking of defense, we have some great defenseless football coming up this week. These teams are about as effective defensively as the fence in the photo above will stop the incoming tide.

Let's get right to the most defenseless game in the NFL: Ain'ts vs. Deadskins (that's New Orleans vs Washington for those of you who are not familiar with the Doormat teams.) I am dead serious, there is no defending this game.

The Ain'ts have the worst defending the passer rating in the NFL this season. In fact, they have the worst passer rating defense ever recorded over a 10-game span since the NFL started keeping this stat about 200 years ago. Like the photo above, the New Orleans pass defense has nothing to stop the tsunami of air attacks coming from every team they play. The last two weeks have been especially astonishing: Against Tennessee they gave up 371 yards, 34 points, and not a single sack or interception. The Ain'ts have not sacked anyone in the 4th quarter this year! In week 9 they yielded 350 yards, 6 TDs, no sacks, hurry ups, or interceptions, and a whopping 49 points. But who cares? They have gunslinger Drew Brees outdoing those numbers every week. His passing attempts look like a Kansas City starter pitch count. It reminds me of the Fouts and Coryell era Bolts: just try to score more points than we can, we dare you!

Now for the Skins. It's much less dramatic, but they are ranked 19th in the NFL in total defense and, for the last three weeks--giving up a whopping 90 points--ranked the worst. So they are playing some seriously defenseless football. By the way, after week 9, the 5 most defenseless teams in the NFL are (worst first): NYG, NO, Cleveland, Indianapolis, and SF.

So what happens when two teams who don't even bother to put 11 men on the field while playing defense get together for a doormat tilt? Get ready, because the Deadskins do score when they play a bad defense, and Kirk Cousins can pile up numbers on a good day. Look for a wild game and a final score of NO 46, Wash. 38. It will be defenseless, but fun.

And now for all the other defenseless games this week. The Oracle spins the half empty Bohemian quart--dang I forgot to screw the cap on tight--and here are the predictions:

NO: 46
Wash.: 38

Detroit: 28
Green Bay: 31
(Stafford is benched, team plays real football, but Green Bay too amped up after two losses.)

Kansas City: 21
Denver: 24

Carolina: 35
Tennessee: 10

Chicago: 10
St. Louis: 12

Miami: 17
Philadelphia: 24

Cleveland: 3
Pittsburgh: 17

Dallas: 7
Tampa Bay: 18

Jacksonville: 10
Baltimore: 14

Houston: 13
Cincinnati: 32

Good grief, there is a LOT of DEFENSELESS football going on this year. Only these games are officially doormat-free (Meaning both teams are .500 or better): Arizona/Seattle, New England/NYG, Minnesota/Oakland, Buffalo/NY Jets.

Hey, get the dog in here to lap up this Bohemian foam, will ya?