WEEK 10 WRAP-UP: UPSET WEEKEND!!!

Or, Popcorn Bowl-Toss Weekend!

YOWEEEEE!!!!

BEATING THE ODDS

The Basement was rockin' yesterday, Doormat Denizens! The Bills, the Redskins, the Cowboys, the TITANS, and the Browns all beat the odds and outright won their games. An incredible weekend of upsets and defying the point spread.  Even the Cardinals beat the spread (well, 16 1/2 points is a little ridiculous).  Thankfully, a few teams- the Bucs, the Raiders and the Lions-  brought home the Bacon of Embarrassment and kept the Moldy Carpet dream alive.

DOORMAT DIVISION WEEK 10

NFC            W-L        PF       PA       DIFF

NY Giants     1-7         150     205       -55
Santa Clara    2-7         207     239       -32
Arizona         2-7         124     225       -101
Tampa Bay    3-6         232     291       -59

Detroit           3-6         202    244        -42

    

AFC            W-L        PF       PA       DIFF

Oakland        1-8         147      272       -125
NY Jets         3-7         208      254       -46     
Jacksonville  3-7         134      170      -36
Buffalo          3-7        137     251       -114
Cleveland      3-6-1     218      263       -45
Denver          3-6         205      213      -8

BILLS 41, JETS 10
Okay, so it was the Jets, and without Sam Darnold.  7 points was a GAUDY amount to be favored by, but nobody saw this coming.  Bills QB Matt Barkley last won a game when QB'ing for Chicago, in a snowstorm, against the 49ers, two years ago.  It appeared to be the only conditions under which he could win a game. Not so!

The Bills just pulverized the Jets, converting 2 turnovers into points, racked up 451 yards of total offense, scored nearly HALF the points they'd scored all season, and just mowed the lawn with the Jets. Does it matter that the Jets were only one game better in the standings?  Not in Buffalo!  In fact, all the better because the Bills are not even in last place in the AFC East anymore. Woo-Hoo! 

Does that feel good, Buffalo?  Huh?  Does it?  The Bills get the Reeling Jaguars next week at home.  Get out to the stadium, you long-suffering fans, and scream your heads off.  Maybe it'll even snow for Mr. Barkley.

TITANS 34, PATRIOTS 10
The Titans didn't just win this game. They demolished the Pats.  Oh MY does this feel good.  We were cheering so loud the tattered Titanics wallpaper peeled off the walls!! There is no better upset than beating the Patriots, and our Titanics were underdogs by 6 1/2.  No Tom Terrific 4th quarter, baby.  No points at all in the second half for the Patsies. New England's lack of a running game turned into a 40-yard TOTAL LACK of a running game. The Titans defense just put the screws on them and QB Marcus Mariota and a balanced running attack looked like a playoff team yesterday.  Maybe it's just one week.  But Nashville and all of Tennessee will take it.  5-4 and on the plus side of the NFL.  Get off our patio!

BROWNS 28, FALCONS 16
Blank Helmet football hasn't been this fun since Brian Sipe or Bernie Kosar was dropping back and threading the needle and making Browns fans hearts stop. The Browns finally win big at home for the first time since the Harding administration (or week 13 of the 2015 season against a completely demoralized 49er team that finished 5-11). This was different. The Browns beat a team that had been averaging 25.5 points a game and had won 4 straight. And they looked flat-out exciting doing it. Browns fans witnessed a 92-yard run for a touchdown, which had to be explained to them was an actual legal NFL play by the helpful stadium ushers in the orange parkas with the pamphlets.

Brownie Baker Mayfield looked stellar...can I really say that about a Brown's QB?  Somebody ask an usher. 3 TD passes, fabulous mobility extending plays. If they'd just use a darker tone of brown on the unis, we'd be in business.  But I'm quibbling.  Throw the popcorn a little higher, Browns fans.  Good GOD that took a long time to happen.  The best 3-6-1 team in the NFL, ladies and gents.

COWBOYS 27, EAGLES 20
It's not my idea of fun to report that the Cowboys pulled off an upset, but you gotta be honest to have any credibility around here. Otherwise, I'd have to move into the broom closet with the Commodore 64 (our fabulous nerve center of the Doormat Division!) be warmed by the battered space heater, and live on scraps from the neighbor's garbage grilled on the rusted Weber BBQ out on the patio.  Are we done here?  The Eagles are not last year's Eagles, and the Cowboys shouldn't have been 7 1/2 underdogs, but underdogs they were, and about to get their coach fired.  So, a one-week reprieve for America's 2nd most tiresome team (sorry, Dallas, New England wins that one).

THE BACON OF EMBARRASSMENT

Somebody has to bring it home.  And we've still got dysfunction programmed on NFL Sunday.
Let's start with the bottom of the pit:

RAIDERS 6, CHARGERS 20
The Charrrrraiders are the creme' de la creme' of the Doormat Division.  Drive to the 1 yard line and don't score.  Commit neutral zone infractions multiple times to turn 3rd and 6 into 3rd and 1 for the Chargers.  When the Raiders got a turnover yesterday, we had to rewind it and watch it 4 or 5 times before we could understand that this had actually happened.  It's like spotting a Dodo bird.

Oh..just top to bottom.  A demoralized roster with a coach talking about being tough for building to future creating a vision of dysfunction that any fan can smell from a mile off, and see when Derek Carr bails and grounds a pass on 4th down to...wait why would you do that?  Because there's just no point. The end zone is closed for the rest of the season, Raider Nation. Just stay in the parking lot next game. You've got a better seat. 

A helpful graphic came up on the TV yesterday about the Raider 'defense':

Yards allowed:               27th (ranking)
3rd down conversions:  30th
Points allowed:             31st
Takeaways:                   31st
Rush yards allowed      LAST
Sacks                            LAST
6.8 yards allowed per play- highest in the Super Bowl era.

Let us close the crypt for now, and not view the offense's stats.  It's just too grisly for a Monday morning.

BUCS 3,  REDSKINS 16
Hold the other team to 15 first downs, rack up 501 yards of offense...and only score a field goal.
WOW.  The Redskins get to register an UPSET with this impressive effort from the Bucs, with implosionary magician Ryan Fitzpatrick dealing from the Bucs backfield.  A master of red zone disaster,  Fitz threw an INT at the Washington 7 and dealt a fumble at the 2, threw in a fumble just outside the red zone, and ...isn't that enough?  What else do you want from this man?  More beard?
The Bucs are the most bizarre 3-6 team in the league.

CARDINALS 14, CHIEFS 28
The Cardinals don't have the 49ers on their schedule for any more games.  Rookie QB Josh Rosen has a lot of learning to do.  Should go 2-14 and Moldy Carpet contender.  The most boring team in the league.

LIONS 22, BEARS 34
The Kittens have returned to the fold in the Basement.  We have set up a cat box over by the possum's area, with the possum willing to persevere through the imposition for now.  3-6 and fading fast, the Lions have tough games to lose when they have the Cardinals and the Bills in consecutive weeks 12/9 and 12/16.  Otherwise, they can run the table.

BENGALS 14, SAINTS 51
Astonishingly the bigger blowout of the weekend, topping the 52-21 PITT-CAR margin.  Yes, the Bungles have a winning record, but they almost got under the 20-minute time of possession (20:14) a feat accomplished usually only once a year, and has not been attained yet this season. 

TONIGHT'S MARQUEE MATCHUP:

GIANTS (1-7) at 49ers  (2-7)
Huge game in the City That Is Not San Francisco tonight.  Should settle the bragging rights in the NFC for at least 1 week. 

OKAY!  We still have our Moldy Carpet contenders, but HOORAY for the UNDERDOG this week!
The sun is shining a little brighter today, even from behind a massive cloud bank.

aaaAAAAAAAND THAT'S THE VIEW FROM THE BASEMENT!!

Doormat Division: WEEK 9 WRAP-UP- THE UNDERDOGS

THE UNDERDOGS

Or maybe that's 'Undercats'

Not a single Vegas underdog in the Doormat Division won this week.  On pure Vegas odds, the Saints and Steelers were underdog victors.  Neither of those teams count as 'underdogs' in the true sense of the term. Nobody else even covered the point spread.

All of our underdogs, toiling under the radar and laughed at by the rest of the league's fans, have long odds of pulling off a victory against a towering foe at any time.  As the season goes on, those odds get longer, until the final week, when some teams mail it in from the golf course.

Instead, we warm the cold coffee on the outdoor grill, make the guys some hot dogs, and...after that repast, they gotta stay out on the patio.  Powered by Vitamin F, we'll tune them in again, because....just maybe.


DOORMAT DIVISION WEEK 9

NFC            W-L        PF       PA       DIFF

NY Giants     1-7         150     205       -55
Santa Clara    2-7         207     239       -32
Arizona         2-6         110     199        -89
Tampa Bay    3-5         229     275       -46

Detroit           3-5         180     210       -30

    

AFC            W-L        PF        PA      DIFF

Oakland        1-7         141       252      -111
Buffalo          2-7         96        241      -145
Cleveland      2-6-1     190       247      -57
Denver          3-6         205       213      -8
NY Jets         3-6         198      213      -15
Jacksonville  3-5         134      170      -36


BILLS 9, CHICAGO 41
This weekend's biggest underdog (+10), Buffalo presented their fans with a performance that not only covered the point spread like 4 feet of yellow snow, lengthened winter, and threw into question the term 'rebuilding', they also made a unique box score.  81 plays to the Bears 46.  22 first downs to the Bears' 11. 10 more minutes in time of possession. The Bears got only 190 yards of offense, went 3 for 11 on 3rd down, had 14 penalties for 129 yards, yet won by 32 points. How it was done: The Bears never started a scoring drive (save one FG) in their own territory. They never needed more than 1 first down to get in the end zone or kick a FG.  The variety of setup was impressive, with the Bills giving up a fumble-six and pick-six,  two more interceptions deep in their own territory, personal fouls on punts (moving the ball into their own territory), a long punt return, and...10 penalties for 163 yards.  How you average more than 15 yards per penalty is a little hard to even grasp.

Somehow, the Bills beat the Vikings in week 2. It's still this seasons' biggest upset. Rookie QB Josh Allen, who is not Drew Brees but isn't a total stiff either, has returned to practice after a nasty elbow tweak in week 6.  Lord GOD does Buffalo need him. In his absence, interception machine Nathan Peterman and antique life form Derek Anderson have obstructed the position, with the ominous presence of recently unemployed Matt Barkley filling a Bills uniform on the sideline.  Laugh all you want, but Peterman, who threw 3 interceptions in 49 attempts yesterday, actually improved his interception rate, which was 1 in every 8 attempts before yesterday (that would have been 6 yesterday if ratios had held).

The city of Buffalo prays for your health, Josh. And get the hell back on the field. Maybe this underdog can win a game yet. Without him, they're hands down the worst team in the NFL (sorry Raiders). The Jets (11/11 and 12/9), the Jags (11/25) and the Lions (12/16) present the opportunity. In fact, next week's Jets game will present the best opportunity for an 'upset' in the entire week 9 schedule. When it's two Doormat teams with excellent chances of losing 10, you may not feel like counting it, but- if you're a Bills fan, you sure as hell are.

LIONS 9, VIKINGS 24
The Kittens got Purpled Peopled yesterday, with QB Matt Stafford hitting the pretend grass 10 times, a Vikings record.  The 60's-70's Purple People Eaters got 9 sacks three times.

Now that we're in the past, let's observe our Kat Box regulars from a bird's eye view: In the 60 seasons since their last championship (1957), the Lions have had 20 winning seasons, a .333 batting average for stress relief for Lions fans.  Of those 20 winning seasons, 10 were 'winning' by only one victory. Just like to get any respect for losing, you really gotta get 2 games over .500 to look good (in losing, two games under .500).  Otherwise, the flab shows.

Stafford likes to throw long, but the Lions never seem to achieve offensive balance.  They'll have a great running back, and no passing game. Now they have a passing game and no running game. They averaged 2.8 yards per run yesterday. The Kittens have been Underdogs for so long, despite the last two years of winning (ahem, 9-7), they look every bit like they are going to slide back to 10 losses this year.

Still, despite this ominous scenario, I give the Lions the better chance to stage an upset in the remaining games than most everybody else in the Basement. The schedule is BRUTAL, though.  The Bears, Panthers, Bears, Rams, Cards, Bills, Vikings, Packers. They will be underdogs in six of those games. Just because it's the Bears, I give them a shot in that one.  Elsewhere,  Panthers and Packers are possible. If they lose to the Cards or Bills, somebody gets fired.

RAIDERS 3, 49ERS 34
We covered this on Friday, but just a revisit to say: the Raiders are the most embarrassing team in the NFL, and it isn't even close, which they clarified so well for us on TNF. The Bills and Cards, as bad as they are, would improve dramatically if they had a decent QB. Also, they are trying. The Raiders are emptying the barn so they don't have to pack so much for Vegas. The Giants come close, but not in the complete tanking stink pile of the Raiders.  Right now, I can't see the Raiders pulling off any kind of upset.  The 49ers, with everybody's new favorite QB, Nick Mullens, have a shot if they can look half as good as they did against the Charrrraiders.
The Niners chances are:  Bucs (will probably not be favored), Seahawks (the home game), Broncos.

NEW YORK GIANTS (1-7)
The Giants, 1-7 and atop the Doormat Division NFC, have a shot at an 'upset' next Monday, against the 49ers, in Santa Clara, the city that isn't San Francisco.  Not a likely victory, as Nick Mullens will most likely ride the wave for one more game before reality slams him in the face mask.

Any other shots at an upset for Gnats?  It's seriously grim, NY fans, because your Giants are a serious underdog.  BUT, you're going to be underdogs in every single game from now on.  Games you can win: Redskins, Titans, Cowboys.  Titans, particularly.   The Colts- maybe.  Let's see who is taking snaps for them come that fateful day.

BROWNS 21, CHIEFS 37
The loss margins are widening for the Brownies. But, they've lost multiple games by a final play or just a few points.  The Browns have just GOT to score an upset here, somewhere.  They have two already, the Jets (not counting that), and the Ravens (count it).  They can't beat the Falcons next week.  But they've got a legitimate shot at every game left after that.  Bengals, Texans, Panthers (ok maybe not), Broncos, Bengals, Ravens.  Beating the Panthers or Bengals would be a true upset.
Go Brownouts.  Go Blank Helmets.  Get over the damn hump.  They're still going to lose 10 games, yet again.  At least knock over a Goliath.

JAGS (3-5) AND BUCS (3-5)
Both of these squads started out OK, but have bumblingly stumbled into our basement, and landed on the duct tape couch with a resounding thud.  Jags, in particular, look like they could just lose every game from now to the end of time.  If they aren't all sporting losing records by the time the games happen, the Jags could upset the Titans or Dolphins. Any team that sports any kind of offense where 2 touchdowns could somehow get scored, count out the Jags from a victory.

If the Bucs are going to get an upset, it's the Ravens or Cowboys (IF either of those are still favorites by game time).  Outside of that...Redskins next week.

CARDINALS (2-6)
It's looking so desolate out there in the desert, the scirocco howling through the chaparral, with not even an Arby's in sight. Upset? 12/9 at home vs. the Lions. Will they be underdogs to the Raiders?  That doesn't count!  Final game vs. the Seahawks, esp if Seahawks are out of the hunt, and throw in the towel.

BRONCOS 17, TEXANS 19
Missing not once but twice on field goals that would have won the game, the Broncos (3-6) are moving into Doormat territory with some style. Things are crumbling in the mile-high stadium, and I don't mean the pot cookies. Who can they beat that they shouldn't?  WHO CAN THEY BEAT?
Upset potential:  the Chargers should eat them alive- wow it's hard to type that- but you never know with Charger QB Philip Rivers, he could have a throw-back game with 4 interceptions. But, he's just not doing that this year. I'd say the Bengals on 12/2.  There.  Maybe the Steelers 11/25.  Steelers can put up a stinker, but as the year goes on, they usually play better. All the other games, Broncos, right now, would be favored (Browns, 49ers, Raiders).

JETS 6,  DOLPHINS 13
Yesterday's soccer game-like  STIFF OF THE WEEK, where failure is the constant, and small victories must be celebrated (did you see that fabulous hand-off?), the only TD was a Fin's interception return. The Sam Darnold era includes games like this: 4 interceptions (with the pick-six game winner). The Fins only got 7 first downs, punted nine times and WON the contest of flail.  Games like this should be played with no face masks, on a mud field, with groundskeepers visibly hosing down the 5 yard-lines. Anything to make it interesting.

The Jets are SO up and down...but mostly down lately, with 3 straight losses. They get the Bills next week, with Josh Rosen back at QB.  Watch out Jets, Bills might just notch their upset.  Who can the Jets knock off, who isn't expecting it?  The Texans- a score fest.  The Titans, though Titans would be, like, a 1 point favorite in that Stiff.  17 punts in that scary place.

OKAY  UNDERDOGS OF THE BASEMENT,

aaaaAAAAaaAND THAT'S THE VIEW FROM THE BASEMENT!!!

WEEK 17 REPORT: The Brown Crown of Renown

...and the Moldy Carpet 2016 goes to...

THE CLEVELAND BROWNS!!

1-15 

Though the Perfect Season Parade was cancelled due to victory last week (it's a real thing, it's on GoFundMe and it raised over $10,000) and the money was smartly donated to the Cleveland Food Bank, Browns fans can still celebrate the winning of the Moldy Carpet, as their beloved Brownies finish dead last in the NFL for the first time, EVER, in their storied history.

Here's the link to the Perfect Season Parade Fund, in case you doubt us (apologies for this link not being 'active' - you must cut and paste):

https://www.gofundme.com/browns-perfect-season-parade-fund?ssid=860390682&pos=1

We'll get to the incredible final game that the hometown fans got to endure, but first the standings

DOORMAT DIVISION WEEK 17 

FINAL STANDINGS

AFC

Cleveland -      1-15

Jacksonville -   3-13

NY Jets -          5-11

San Diego -      5-11

Cincinnati -       6-9-1

Bills                  7-9

NFC
San Francisco - 2-14
Chicago -           3-13
Los Angeles -     4-12
Carolina -           6-10

Philly-                7-9

New Orleans     7-9

All teams below the 10-loss line are not granted membership in the Basement for 2016-17.  7-9 you get to spend the winter on the patio by the grill. Philly and Cincinnati both had shots to make the 10 club yesterday, but failed.  The Panthers, however, nailed it. 

BROWNS 24, STEELERS 27 (OT)

(Cleveland) Do you have "grit"?  Cleveland has grit. Cleveland has so much grit, they've got brown and orange kidney stones. 

It was arduous, it was difficult.  But the Brown-outs are money. Playing against the most obscure Steelers money can buy, the Browns still pulled it off.  Despite racking up 27 first downs (first time since Dec. 13, 2015*), 437 total yards and getting punted at 8 times, they still did it.  

They did it by intercepting a pass, running it back the length of the field for an apparent pick-six, and then fumbled at the goal line for a Steeler's touchback. Wow! Pittsburgh responded by marching the length of the field and scoring. 

They did by driving right down to the 3 yard line in the closing minute, tied 21-21, needing only to run out the clock and kick the stupid field goal and win the game- but the Blanks fumbled the ball and the Steelers recovered. Incredible! 

They did it by kicking a field goal in overtime and then letting the Steelers just mow the grass with them, all the way down the field, and watching from a safe vantage point as the Steelers score the winning touchdown. Kablam!! That's right, instead of just safely losing the game early, with the fans slipping away quietly into the overcast afternoon, they kept them in their seats until the final, baleful horn sounded. Blank Helmet Football wraps it up with a cathedral-quiet mass shuffle to the parking lot. I can hear the gravel. 

Owner Jim Haslem is keeping this magnificent front office, GM and coach together for an encore next season, and why not?  He's doubling down! He's double-trouble in a bubble of flubble doubling down! Sprinkle some more grit on that bratwurst!!  Hey, they still need to have that Perfect Season Parade, because the fans deserve- the fans do not deserve this.

I can kind of understand Haslem's decision.  Perhaps the logic is: what the heck difference will it make? What else can happen? Brownie fans everywhere, we salute your bumbling team for the glory of the Moldy Carpet, and for the day you guys will somehow, someway, exit the Basement.  Now, take your Jim Brown jersey, make a hot cocoa, wrap yourself in the jersey, find your comfy chair, and just hum to yourself quietly. Pet the cat. Watch the rain patter on the window. And then, when you've had your cry, tune in the Cavaliers game tonight.  

*the Dec. 13 game was the Battle for the Basement in 2015, vs. the 49ers (4-8 vs the Browns 2-10). The Blanks won that game.  It is, in fact one of the 2 games they have won in the last 27.  

49ERS 23, SEAHAWKS 25

(Santa Clara) The 49ers win the NFC Doormat with a stellar 2-14 season, tying every other 'worst' season they've ever had.  QB Colin Kaepernick posted a 123.1 rating yesterday. The Whiners also went 2-11 on third down. So, he was great on 1st and 2nd down, but complete crapola on 3rd, a solid recipe for posting a loss. The Whiners fired everybody except the owner. Owner Jed York issued so many pink slips you could have made a tutu. So look for more 10 loss seasons until further notice. Because Jed.  Jed is a man with...with...a stadium.  Perhaps he can get the SF Ballet to move there.  They will sell guaranteed tutu 'licenses.' 

Chip Kelly, since he did not enter the league as an offensive coordinator, is done in the NFL. Getting dropped into head coaching with no subordinate roles and failing twice leaves one no options. Not a career NFL man.  But Southwestern East Texas Teacher's College is hiring, I hear.  I believe their nickname is the Knucklerappers.  

LAMBS 6, CARDINALS 44

(Los Angeles) Here we are, end of season. Lambs are just easily the worst team in the league.  How did they ever win those 3 games in a row back in September? I dunno! Must have been a clerical error. Yesterday they finished off the season, at home like the Browns and Whiners, and just mailed it in from so far away, it needed extra postage. 9 first downs. 123 total yards.  3 turnovers (5 total fumbles! just whoa), including a pick six as the cherry on top final glory moment of the season. The defense was- wait, I am being told there was no defense. Never mind. Rams finish a respectable Doormat 4-12.  Can they do to Jared Goff what they did to Sam Bradford (105 sacks in 3 years)?  Stay tuned.

BEARS 10, VIKINGS 38

Before we go all Bears on you, the Vikings (8-8) and the Colts (8-8) will play in the Parity Bowl at a neutral site and every single person will receive a ribbon for participating.

Can we get Bears QB Matt Barkley 9 more games? In a mere 7 contests, he connected on 14 interceptions. If he got a full season, that's 32 interceptions! It won't get him to George Blanda's all-time record of 42, but it's a start. Yesterday he racked up 2 more (plus a Fumble-Six) and avoided the end zone, so his 'balance' is 8 TDs vs. 14 interceptions. Go to the head of the class here in the Basement. The only game he didn't throw an INT was versus the Whiners in a driving snow storm. So, if the NFL expands to Anchorage, we know who to build our roster around.  And don't build a damn indoor stadium.  Be a man!  Oh, my cocoa has gone cold. 

By the way the the all-time single season interception leader (most interceptions by DB) is Night Train Lane, for the 1952 Los Angeles Rams.  A name worth keeping alive.

Bears finish up a very very competitive 3-13, nipping at the heels of the Whiners.  But the victory over the Whiners, in that very blizzard, did them in. Coach John Fox, a blazing 9-23 since taking over this developing Doormat regular, refuses to say if he'll have a job next year. I always wonder what this means- did he offer his resignation and was told to shut up? Win the Moldy Carpet, and we'll talk about firing, John.  

JAGS 20, COLTS 24

What a great finish to a season like this: lose the game with :09 left on the clock.  Jags (3-13) came back into the Basement with a vengeance. Never doubt this club. I don't care who they hire to steer this team. They have culture. 

CHARGERS 27, CHIEFS 37

(San Diego) Interception leader Philip "Why Are People In the Way?" Rivers racks up two more and finishes the season with 21, a curious homage to slingin' John Hadl (#21).  An acceptable 5-11, the Chagrins didn't tank- they just never got around to winning very often. Blowing more leads than anybody thought possible, except our commissioner who called it in the preseason, the Chargers fired coach Mike McCoy yesterday, and so won't have to pack so much stuff for the move to Los Angeles (Pasadena).  

PANTHERS 16, BUCS 17

(Tampa)Three teams had a shot at making 10 losses yesterday, and only the Panthers 

(6-10) achieved greatness and membership in the Basement for the winter. You know, despite the Super Bowl last year, we still have some faded Pansies wallpaper up, behind the TV.  We like the way that funny blue goes with the orange plaid and silver duct tape couch. See, they always come back, even if just on the Patio. They're our grill-masters.  

Who else but the Pansies could lose the final game to them Bucs (9-7!!), our proud Doormat members who graciously passed the torch yesterday in Tampa. Pansie QB Cam Newton was a blaze of interceptions (3) and pained looks (the champion). The crowning pain being the missed 2-point conversion, going for the win, at the end of regulation, instead of getting the tie and going into overtime.  Why wait when you can lose now, and hit the hot tub just that much sooner? 

Panthers experience biggest plummet of the year, from 15-1 and the Stuper Bowl to 6-10 and winterizing in the Basement.  {The Panthers have never had two winning seasons in a row. They began operations in 1993.} 

JETS 30, BILLS 10

(New York) Well, the Jets (5-11) still make the 10 Club, but it could have been so much more. But what are you going to do when it's New Year's Day and the visiting team was in NYC for New Year's?  You won't be losing this game, no matter how much bigger your hangover is than Joe Namath's ever was. Bills play like they left it all on the dance floor last night, and go pffft. Rex Ryan, freshly fired, can head for the golf links and...does his brother caddy? That has to be the best stocked golf bag on the links any time they show up.

AND NOW FOR OUR YEAR-END UPDATES:

THE TEN CLUB

CLEVELAND         1-15                         2 years in a row 10 losses

SAN FRANCISCO 2-14  (coach fired)

JACKSONVILLE    3-13  (coach fired)  5 straight years 10 losses

CHICAGO              3-13                        2 years in a row

LOS ANGELES     4-12   (coach fired)   2 years in a row 

SAN DIEGO          5-11    (coach fired)

NY JETS               5-11                         2 years in a row

CAROLINA            6-10    (coach fired)

. LONGEST PLAYOFF DROUGHT

1. BUFFALO BILLS  - 17  seasons and climbing

2. CLEVELAND BROWNS- 14

3.  ST. LOUIS RAMS- 12

4.  JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS- 9

5. TAMPA BAY BUCS- 9

6. TENNESSEE TITANS- 8

7.  NEW YORK JETS- 6  

8. CHICAGO BEARS- 6

17 seasons is a really long time.  However 26 seasons without a playoff victory is even more painful.

2. LONGEST PLAYOFF VICTORY DROUGHT

1.  CINCINNATI BENGALS-  26 

2.  DETROIT LIONS -  25 (pending playoff outcome) 1 victory since 1957.
3.  BUFFALO BILLS-  21 

4.  CLEVELAND BROWNS- 19

5.  MIAMI DOLPHINS- 15   (pending playoff outcome)

6.  OAKLAND RAIDERS- 14 (pending playoff outcome, not looking good)

7.  TAMPA BAY BUCS-  15  

8.  TENNESSEE TITANS- 14

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aaaaAAAnd That's the View from the Basement!!!!!

-wacko