The Oracle is finally home from the Dehli (New Dehli)--the temple is a ruin, been gone too long--and I have an armload of bologna and sliced American cheese, a loaf of Wonder Bread a jar of French's yellow mustard, and a bag of Ruffles. The perfect Doormat sandwich meal. I also have a case of Bohemian quarts and bottle of Fat Bastard wine. It's going to be a great Doormat Thursday. And speaking of Doormats, here is who is going to wipe who's feet on whom this week...as we down the Bo and spin a freshly purchased frozen turkey:
Doormat Thursday
Jets- 7
Patriots- 39
This should be a great opportunity to see a championship quality team get back on its feet at the expense of team that can't even find its way from the locker room to the field.
Doormat Faceoffs
Titans- 17
Redskins- 14
Vikings- 10
Bills- 28
The Other Doormats
Seahawks- 50
Rams- 10
Browns- 24
Jaguars- 3
Dolphins- 20
Bears- 13
Cardinals- 17
Oakland- 13
Falcons- 24
Ravens- 28
The Rest of the NFL
Texans- 33
Steelers- 17
Giants- 10
Cowboys- 27
Chiefs- 28
Chargers- 31
Panthers- 14
Packers- 21
Saints- 7
Lions- 17
Bengals- 14
Colts- 20
49ers- 21
Broncos- 28
The Oracle has belched fire of bologna and beer. Gentlemen, make your predictions!
The Browns continue their ADIOS tour of the at Basement at Jacksonville.
ReplyDeleteThe Steelers get an excellent chance to continue descent into basement with Texans, and prove they belong.
Da Bares and Flops are gonna be in a dogfight, which is too many animals.
Vikings have tough challenge with Bills, who can't quite shake the mediocrity, and could go all-Doormat for Sunday.
Jets have it wired. Not a problem.
Redskins and Titans- Man, the Titans have a murderer's row of Doormat tilts. They could end up winning two in a row and be 3-4. That's Parity territory.
Raiders have no defense. They gotta hope Carson Palmer throws 2 interceptions with no pass rush. That's a lot of hoping. But not unheard of. Cardinals should get 30. Let's see if Sparano can do something with the defense in his second week on the job.
Falcons are major teasers. Here's their chance to get to 2-5 and have guys start quitting on the season.
Raise the Titanics...at least for on more week!
ReplyDeleteBaltimore destroys Falcons for a back to back shellacking of NFC south match-ups.
ReplyDeleteGeno Smith fumbles 2x and throws 2 INTs as Pats roll. Raidurz give up at LEAST 30 points, but score 3 tds themselves to make it kinda interesting for the black hole costume party and other fans. Man, why do Raiders games look like something straight off the playa? They should just build a wooden statue of Jon Gruden (or maybe Al Davis) and then burn it after every loss. Keep the party goin' !
toxins steelers should be a real laugher, lots of punts and missed field goals, but you just can't trust Ruthlesberger. especially with your daughter.
and finally: Bumgarner goes 8 for the win tonite.
Love the Gruden 'wicker man' effigy. Should burn one in the parking lot after every game. or before. or both.
ReplyDeleteJets nearly tie game at end (going ahead would have been too much stress), but dodge it with blown 2-point conversion. Man, was that CLOSE. 1-6 and right on the Gags heels.
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