The Doormat Division Weak IX Preview!

Nobody got fired…yet. I'm trying to understand.

Game of the Weak:

Chicago Careless Bears vs. Buffalo Nils in Toronto

The Doormat Division continues its International Tour (straight from London!) with an amazing match-up of complete disregard for taking care of the ball, and utter, weekly frustration of nearly winning a game. I’m going way out on a limb, here, or maybe it’s a bender, but here goes:

Nils 24 Careless Bears 13

That’s right, the Nils won’t be the Nils anymore. Bears worst 4-3 team in football- it’s not even close.

Jets @ Kittens

Jets looked terrrrrrrible in their last game, had the week off, and usually play like crap after a bye week. Will the Kittens break a Doormat Commandment, and win TWO in A ROW? I’m calling it even.

Patriots @ Cleveland

Oh, dear. Anyone notice the Pats have the best record in the league? Bet that snuck up on you, what with focusing on the worst teams all the time. Brownies take it on the chinstrap in this one. No brownie for you guys, and can we get a firing here? What’s it gonna take? What are they saying in Cleveland?

Cowpies @ Green Bay

Cowpies are down and nobody’d like to kick them around more than the Packers, who have turned up the fridge at Lambeau. Bet the heating goes out in the visitor’s locker room. It’s gonna be a real shamepack of a game for Dallas. Boo-hoo.

Oregon @ Pansies

Oh, wait, the Ducks haven’t started playing NFL doormats to give them some real competition…yet. It’s the Saints that get to pummel the Pansies. Lights out in Carolina.

Cardinals @ Farvkings-

Will Brett play? Does Brett have an owie? Is Brett going to speak? Is Brett going to look my way? C’mon Cardinals- put the Vikes out of their misery and….this game is going to be terrible.

Steelers @ Bungles-

As I was archiving my Giants Win the Series newspapers, I noticed my old 49ers beats the Bengals in the Super Bowl sports page. Boy, how the mighty have gotten lost. Steelers looking for major payback from getting swept by Cincy last year. It’s gonna be another Monday night Embarassment Showcase for the Bungles, a franchise that is rapidly dismantling itself.

0-4-9ers have the week off. Way off.

Gentlemen, make your predictions.

-Wacko