As The Turkey Bowls: NFL Week 12 Predictions!

Holy Cow, it’s almost Sunday! We better stop the Turkey Bowling championship and make some predictions.

The Team with the EDGE has the best chance to lose.

Game of the Week

Carolina Panthers (2-8) at Indianapolis Colts (0-10)

Dolts run Chris Painter out there one more time, and he has to go up against the hottest rookie in the NFL, Cam Newton. The Pansies lose more close games than anybody in the league, except for maybe the Dolphins, but this one won’t be close. They’ll have to do back flips and run the ball the other way to have even a remote chance of losing this one. Pansies can score. Dolts can’t. Dolts have 3^rd string QB Dan Orlovsky in reserve, with the gold standard credential of having been the backup QB on the 0-16 Detroit Lions of 2008. This will be the biggest blowout a doormat team will muster against another doormat this year. I’m thinking 45-14.

EDGE: DOLTS

Buffalo Bills (5-5) at New York Jets (5-5)

Well, are you mired in mediocrity, or sliding down the slippery slope? One of these guys gets to hang out in the basement after this one. The Jets have lost 2 in a row, and the Bills have lost 3. Most telling stat is these teams are home town beasts and road weenies - 4-1 home and 1-4 on the road for the pair of them.

EDGE: NILS

Arizona Cardinals (3-7) at St. Louis Lambs (2-8)

The NFC Worst begins inflating two of the worst teams in the league with ‘W’s, because somebody has to win. There hasn’t been a tie in the NFL since 2008 (hey, not that long ago!) when the Pheebles and the Bungles struggled to eternal deadlock, 13-13. Cruds QB John Skelton is still at the helm, vastly increasing their chances of losing. Sam “my ball” Bradford goes for the Lambs. The Lambs don’t score. The Crud can score as long as the other team has no ‘D.’ I refuse to ignore the Lambs and their level of ineptitude.

EDGE: LAMBS

Houston Texans (7-3) at Jacksonville Jaguars (3-7)

The Texans are on a 4 game win streak, and the Gaguars pulled out the loss in Cleveland last week by rocketing a pass through the endzone as time expired. Even with Matt Leinart at QB for the Texans, they have no choice but to win.

EDGE: Gaguars

Minnesota Vikings (2-8) at Atlanta Falcons (6-4)

The Yikings have no preference where they lose being 1-4 both on the road and at home.

EDGE: Yikings

Washington Redskins (3-7) at Seattle Seahawks (4-6)

There may only be one game difference between these two teams, but don’t let that fool you. The Deadskins are on a major slide (6 games) and the Hags have won 2, with one of those games being Baltimore. WTF?? I find it hard to believe the Hags will win 3 in a row, not having done it for 4 years, but the Deadskins are just bringing the bumbling at a very high level.

EDGE: Deadskins

Denver Broncos (5-5) at San Diego Chargers (4-6)

Tim Tebow brings his squeaky clean rough and tumble act into San Diego, where they have the Philip Rivers whine complain and bitch routine going on. Amazing that it’s the Charge-its with the losing record, huh? That’s what leading the league in picks will do for you.

EDGE: EVEN

Cleveland Browns (4-6) at Cincinnati Bengals (6-4)

The Bengals haven't made it to 8 wins yet, so they are still on our mast, but they get closer this week, as their stalwart defense blanks the Browns. Should be about 17-0.

EDGE: Brownies

BLOWOUT OF THE WEEK

Pittsburgh Steelers (7-3) at Kansas City Cheaps (4-6)

The Cheaps may have nabbed Kyle Orton off the waiver wire, but stay calm- they’re starting Tyler Palko at QB anyway. Mr. Palko may be a great QB someday, but it won’t be this week.

EDGE: Cheaps

BOWL THAT FROZEN TURKEY AND MAKE YOUR PREDICTIONS!!