DOORMAT DIVISION WEEK 6 WRAP-UP

The Run to The Moldy Carpet?

NFC                                                        .

                           W-L         PF-PA

NY Giants            0-6          103-209

Tampa Bay          0-5          64-101

Washington         1-4          107-143

Atlanta               1-4          122-134

Minnesota           1-4          125-158

AFC                                                          .

Jacksonville        0-6           70-198

Pittsburgh           1-4           88-116

Buffalo                2-4          136-157

Houston               2-4         106-177

Raiders                2-4         105-132

I’m not sure why we call it the “Run to the Moldy Carpet.”  Maybe it should be “the saunter,” or “the shuffle.”  Or the crunch.  Whatever you call it, we have 3 teams remaining with perfect records.  The Giants, the Bucs and the Jags all sport a big “O” in the win column, and it’s been many years since we had 3 teams at 0-fer in week 6.  Last year at this time we had 5 teams at 1-5, but no perfect record.  Tampa has the historical precedent, and the Giants you could say are hampered by a quality QB (though he leads the league in INTs).  So far, only the Jags look as close to a dead cert as you can get it to go ALL THE WAY to 0-16.  

GAME OF THE WEEK

RAIDERS 7, CHIEFS 24

This wasn’t some cheap loss.  The Oakland Raiders pulled out all the stops, threw the kitchen sink in, put the pedal to the metal, and torched their season in one game. 

Before I go on, I’d like to point out I’m a Raiders fan.  Okay?  Fine.  This is a long, tough rivalry between these two teams, and though the Cheaps came in big favorites, you have to toss that out.  And they almost did.

The game started with a hard nosed hail of punts, 5 in the first quarter alone, as both teams do nothing.  Chiefs fans barely noticed as the crowd noise climbed to jet engine levels, the new BFD at all stadiums now, bringing severe hearing loss up from its level of disrespected handicap to badge of honor.  The Chiefs were blitzing like crazy, but the Raiders were doing the same.  It was even.  End of 1^st quarter 0-0

Oh, let’s just cut to the chase.  The Raiders and Chiefs were both blitzing their brains out, but the Raiders came up with the O-line injuries to turn the tide.  Except for their lone miraculous touchdown, almost every Raider possession ended with a third and forever, and if you think I’m exaggerating, check this out:  on one 4^th quarter possession,  the Raiders started 1^st and 10 at the 50.  First play, holding.  1^st and 20.  Pryor sacked for 12 yards.  2^nd and 32.  PENALTY, delay of game (This is where the crowd noise reached 137 db).  2^nd and 37.  Pryor then sacked for -11 yards.  3^rd and 48. 

THIRD AND 48????   The only play to call there is ‘incomplete pass.’  The PUNT didn’t even get past the 1^st down marker, going a measly 46 yards.  Think about that. 

Raider QB Terrelle Pryor followed up that possession with an interception, and then a pick six, and the Chiefs were safely ahead 24-7.   Marquette King provides the Raiders highlight with a 61 yard punt.  It traveled that far in the air. 

TEN Sacks!  11 penalties!  3 interceptions, EIGHT punts (more punts than points congratulations Raiders!), and enough injuries to the offensive line to require putting in the Gatorade tub as a right guard.  It got called for holding.  Faced with a pass rush that bordered on frantic, the Rayderz have no answer, not even a screen pass, for this blitz of a blitzing blitz.  The irony is the Cheaps were totally game for a Doormat game, getting off 8 punts themselves, but they were absolutely so match for what the Raiders can do when they put their minds to it.   

THE REST OF THE SORRY PILE

JAGUARS 19,  BRONCOS 35

Broncos come out overconfident at home and the Jags come out pissed off and cover the gaudy 27-point spread.  That’s as close as they're getting to a win this year, so they better take it.   Jags improve to 0-6.

RAMS 38,  TEXANS 13

How bad are the Texans?  Now you know.  Faced with unrelenting booing from his home town, Matt Schaub does the honorable thing and gets injured, giving his fans their one chance to cheer with gusto.  And they did.  Problem is, the Texans don’t have Jim Plunkett standing on the sidelines, ready to come in and propel himself into the Hall of Fame (see Raiders 1980).   They’ve got Mr. Yates who tossed a couple more interceptions to keep the average up and challenge the Giants for most INTs.   The Lambs got only 15 first downs, but when 2 of your TDs are by the defense, who needs to break a sweat?   Lambs paste the Texans and bring a nice, cold serving of Doormat reality to Houston.  As if they didn’t already get that with the Astros.

REDSKINS 16,  COWBOYS 31

Redskins special teams do the job, allowing a TD return and a loooooong 90 yard return to set up another easy score for the Cowboys and Bob’s your Uncle-  another loss.   Tony Romo dodges having to do anything under pressure.

STEELERS 19, JETS 6

For a while it looked like there wasn’t going to be a touchdown in this game, but the Jets decided that it was just them that were kicking only field goals on the day, and let Big Ben throw one of his patented bombs for the lone TD.  Game Over.  Reelers blow their perfect record.

TITANS 13,  SEAHAWKS 20

With Ryan Fitzpatrick back there at QB for the Titans,  you’ve got the the man who throws more interceptions per attempt than any other active NFL QB.  Now THAT’S active.   Until Jake Locker comes back, the Titanics will keep on sinking.

VIKINGS 10,  PANTHERS 35

Matt Cassell reminds the Yiking faithful why he’s not in KC anymore.   Cam Newton has another Yo-Yo game, and the Pansies are the Yo-Yo team of 2013.   

BUCCANEERS 20,  EAGLES 31

Bucs play better for one half, and then give up.   0-5 and looking tough, even if the new QB is an improvement.  He’s still a rookie.

BILLS 24,  BENGALS 27 (OT)

Practice squad QB Thad Lewis plays great for the Bills, but the special teams in OT take care of business, allowing a long runback for an upback and the Bills get kicked back into the basement.

By the way, none of our winless teams play each other this year.   What a shame.

aaaAAAAAAND THAT’S THE VIEW FROM THE BASEMENT!!!