The New York Giants were up against it in Chicago last night. The Bears had lost two straight, and the Gnats perfect 0-5 record was in jeopardy.
The game opened with the Gnats getting the ball, and Eli (INT) Manning wasted no time. On the third play, he tosses an interception giving the Bears the ball on the NY 24.
Not so fast. The Bears take it to the Gnats 4, but come up with the failed 4th down, Cutler throwing one where nobody was getting it. TAKE THAT, you Manhattan Mumps of Mope.
Oh yeah? Manning responds by moving the Gnats out near midfield, all the better for the drama of a Doormat Division Punt, connecting a perfectly thrown pass with the Bears DB Tim Jennings who runs it ALL THE WAY BACK FOR A TD.
Stunned, the Bears do nothing, and the Gnats score the next TD, discovering running lanes that have not appeared all season. Gnats RB Brandon Jacobs has 51 yards at the end of the first quarter, which is more than he's had for the whole season, pretty much. Suspicious, to say the least. Tie game.
Undaunted, the Gnats just lie down and let the Monsters of the Midsection plow right over them for a long drive and another TD. 14-7.
At moments like these, there's only one thing for it- go for broke. The Bears pull the 'fire drill' secondary defense on the next Gnats possession, and Eli Manning gets what might be charitably called coverage on WR Ruben Randle and completes a 37 yard bomb for yet another TD. 14-14.
At this point, it was looking dire. With a victory as a possibility, there was only one thing to do: get the Bears at least 10 points ahead before half time. And with the skill of a long-time Doormat, the Gnats pull it off and head for the coffee urn in the bowels of Soldier Field...which sounds really unappetizing.
24-14.
Fortified for second-half slaughter, the Gnats kick off and guide the Bears to the NY 34 before Jay Cutler says ENOUGH and throws the ball in the dirt a couple times to stop the momentum. But the FG attempt still wobbles through the uprights, and now the Bears are dangerously ahead, 27-14.
Then, the usual Vicious Punting cycle began with 3 exchanges of possession until the Bears came up with a defensive scheme that gave Eli Manning receivers all over the place. The Gnats only response was to give the ball to Jacobs and watch him pile up negative yardage on 5 runs on the drive. It wasn't enough. Giants score AGAIN. Bears 27-Gnats 21.
4th quarter-
And it's back to Vicious Punting, 3 more possessions of complete unwillingness to take the initiative. Then the Bears give the Gnats the ball and just stop tackling, getting the Gnats all the way down to the Bear 10 yard line. Defeat is slipping away from the Giants. Frustrated, Eli Manning does the inevitable, as his league leading total of 15 attests, he throws the killer interception with 1:54 left on the game clock. Whew!
After that, it was all formality, the Gnats using up their three timeouts to courteously stop the clock, but not actually stopping the Bears, thus putting the big "L" stamp on this baby. What a game.
Up next for the 0-6 Gnats- The Vikings in Minneapolis. That's gonna be even tougher.
-Wacko
Wacko, that was the best Doormat-style game wrap I ever read. Both teams were desperate to lose, but dah Bears finally ran out of gas and had to take the "W"
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