DOORMAT DIVISION NFL WEEK 10 WRAP UP and DISPOSAL

AND THEN THERE WAS ONE (winless team)

Jacksonville…wins?  Rams have their one great game a year, and Colts stink it up.  49ers worst team of the weekend, except for maybe the Raiders or the Bills or the Falcons or the Packers. 

GLORY AVERTED!  JAGS WIN

JAGUARS 29,  TITANS 27

It hardly seems fair.  The Jaguars come to Memphis, go get a little ‘cue, have a beer, maybe swing by Graceland, sleep in a touch and ease on over to the stadium on Sunday safely knowing that Jake Locker will pull out a win for the Titans no matter what they do. But wait:  Locker sustains yet another leg injury, and Doormat Secret Weapon Ryan Fitzpatrick is unleashed on the Gags and they never recover.  Staked to a 13 point lead via a fumble deep in Titans territory and an unrelenting hail of punts from Tennessee, the Gags find themselves in unfamiliar territory- AHEAD.   The Jags put the ball on the carpet 3 times, but the Titans refuse to pick it up.  In response the Titans fumble five times and the Jags end up with three of them.  Hard to lose in that environment.

Still, it was only a 20-13 Jags lead entering the 4^th quarter.   Then the Titans pull off a safety by penalty (holding in the end zone) which is about as Doormat as you can get.  But hold on!  Fitzpatrick- you just have to wait for him - with the Gags clinging to a 22-20 lead with 3 minutes to go, gets sacked and fumbles at his own 21 where Jacksonville picks it up and runs it in for a frikkin’ defensive touchdown!   Stunned, Jaguar players miss high fives and pull hamstrings attempting something called ‘celebration.’ Turns out the safety was the difference in the game. Yow!

Fallen from the unvictorious, our Gaguars will not go 0-16.  It was not to be. The great Tampa Bay Bucs (0-14) and the Detroit Lions (0-16) will not be getting their company this year.  Alas. 

BUCCANEERS @ MIAMI (Monday night)

But wait! The BUCS are still 0-8 and could still go winless and elevate Tampa to Doormat Gold Glory as the only franchise to go winless twice.  They’re no match for the 1976 Bucs, who lost 26 straight before winning the last two games of ’77, but they’ve still got a chance to lose out.  Miami is the most reeling team in the league this week, losing half of what was already a terrible O-line, and morale is God knows where.  Gonna be tough to pull out the loss in Flopper Town.

DOORMAT DIVISION NFL WEEK 10 STANDINGS

NFC                                                        .

                           W-L         PF-PA

Tampa Bay           1-8          146-209

Atlanta                2-7          186-251

Minnesota            2-7          220-279

NY Giants             3-6          165-243

Washington          3-6          230-287

AFC                                                          .

Jacksonville         1-8         115-291

Houston               2-7         170-248
Buffalo                 3-7         199-259

Pittsburgh            3-6         179-218

Oakland                3-6         166-223

THE REST OF THE SORRY PILE

REDSKINS 27, VIKINGS 31

If you can lose to the Vikings, in a shoot-out, you can lose to anybody.  Redskins lead the league in ‘coming close’ but still losing.  That’s ART.

RAMS 38, COLTS 8

Remember, two years ago, when the Colts threw interceptions up like they were a busting pinanta, had atrocious special teams and allowed at least 2 huge bombs a game?  Colt fans were weeping with nostalgia yesterday as the Colts toss 4 INTs, give up a Punt return TD, a Bomb TD, and a fumble return for 6.  Rams go totally crazy for their once-a-season great game, pasting Indy and vaulting right out of the basement standings.

RAIDERS 20,  GIANTS 24

You can’t blame the Giants for winning this game.  They really tried to give it away-4 turnovers really should help- but the Raydurz amassed 213 yards of non-offense and get back to 5^th in the Doormat AFC.  3-6 and a legitimate shot at 10 losses.

FAILCONS 10, SEAHAWKS 33

Matt Ryan didn’t have to play bad for the Falcons to lose this one.  They’re just bad now.  And the Seahawks are one of the few good teams.  It’s hard to be a proper Doormat around here with all this competition and wannabes.  But the Falcons (2-7) are the real deal.   Now in 2^nd in the Doormat NFC, passing the Yikings- wow.

TOXINS 24, CARDINALS 27

Ships passing in the night.  In the high desert.  In a dry arroyo.  A coyote howls.

BUFFALUFFAHUFFALO  10, STEELERS 23

With a victory like this, the Steelers have a…oh never mind.  Are the Nils (3-7)  going to make it to 10 losses again?  It won’t be easy- here come the Jets, Falcons, Bucs and Jags in the next 4 games.  The 3 worst teams in the league in 4 weeks.  Gonna be very tough.

PACKERS 13,  EAGLES 27

Okay, the Pack don’t have a losing record…yet.  Pack QB Scott Tolzien started yesterday, and he couldn’t even make the 49ers roster, and look at their pathetic passing offense. 

49ers 9,  PANTHERS 10

Ugly ugly ugly game.  The 49ers must have the most anemic passing game in the league. 46 yards yesterday. You hear that Jacksonville?  They’re worse than you. Carolina has one hellacious defense, and so do the Niners, but I don’t see why the 49ers couldn’t lose 4 more games.  Next loss:  SAINTS

Season worst Stats coming tomorrow after the big Doormat Tilt tonight

aaaAAAAAAAAnd That’s the View from the Basement!!!