Doormat QB Shuffle!!
Sure enough, Week Six has started the general landslide, where the pride of the basement decide that changing quarterbacks will solve their problem…uh-huh.
Always start by cutting off the head, that way when you’re running around the field like a chicken with it’s head cut off, it’s natural. And, it’s easier to change the QB than the entire front line- besides, there isn’t enough room on the bench for those guys.
DEADSKINS!! Washington Redskins coach Mike Shanahan throws Rex Grossman into the doghouse (though it was nearly intercepted) and elevates eternal journeyman John Beck to the starting position. Never heard of John Beck? That’s perfect. He hadn’t played a down since 2005 for Miami until last Sunday, when Grossman finally just went super Doormat All-Star. Now Rex has little chance of leading the league in INTs, and we’re sorry about that. He was on fire.
Based on 5 games he started in 2005 for the Dullfins, Beck’s INT-TD Ratio is 3-1, so he should pick right up where Rex left off. It’s nice to have choices.
YIKINGS! Minnesota Vikings QB Donovan McNabb is replaced by Tomahawk Choppin’ (FSU) QB Christian Ponder. McNabb was nearly at the bottom of the stats in just about every category, so might as well let a rookie get in there and find out just how fast those linebackers and defensive ends are. Yikings look like they are really jumping into the abyss. How much worse could it get? We’ll find out. If the Minnesota fans start doing the chop, I will disown them. I will burn my purple pants.
DONKEYS!! Speaking of Florida, Tim Tebow gets the start over Kyle Orton for Denver this Sunday in Miami. The Dolphins have sold 10,000 tickets since finding out TT will be starting. Donkeys have home field advantage and will win. Floppers will not be making QB change because they have run out of QBs. There will be no QB. Same with Denver.
LAMBS! Sam Bradford is hurt. Probably in about 14 places. The man who hits the turf more often than anybody in the league, and with more force, takes a breather and Ultra-Journeyman AJ Feeley will…run for his life all day in Dallas. Condolence cards or wreaths should be sent to : 1 Rams Way, St. Louis MO 63044
BUNGLES!!!!! Non-QB Carson Palmer finally gets off his butt (and off our sofa) and gets traded to the Oakland Raiders. I can never figure out if Palmer is really great, or just the guy who commits the worst mistakes at the worst time. The Cincinatti Bengals are just about the most baffling team in the NFL, and Palmer figured that out and wanted off the roller coaster. I can’t think of another team that goes, since 2000, 4-12, 6-10, 2-14, 8-8, 8-8, 11-5, 8-8, 7-9, 4-11, 10-6, 4-12. That’s not football. That’s a yo-yo. The rustiest man in sports goes under center this Sunday in Oakland against the cheaps. Be there.
SEAHAGS!!!
Oh, who cares who is QB for these guys? Have another coffee.
I had not noticed the yo-yo record of the Cincinnati Bengals (Bungles). They have run up and down the steps to the basement so many times they must be out of breath. I hear they got some good draft picks coming up this year... but what's with Ohio, anyway? Cleveland has only had 3 winning seasons since 1991! Cincinnati is better than that, but not much. And the times they do get to the Super Bowl they always have to play the 49ers. Is that in the NFL bylaws or something?
ReplyDeleteIt is in the bylaws. The 49ers owners are from Ohio, so it's prearranged in your face sort of thing.
ReplyDeleteMcNabb is having the same ignoble end to his career as Farve. Maybe he can retrace Farve's steps and go to the Jets. Or was it Jets then Vikings? I can' t keep track of all these itinerate QBs. Too bad for McNabb. I akways liked him and the Eagles teams in his good years. No Super Bowl. Darn.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, the Vikings should have known better. I guess they really just needed somebody to keep the seat warm until Ponder was ready. I bet they didn't want to start Ponder until next year.
ReplyDeleteFavre was Pack-Jets-Vikes.
Now Palmer is Not starting for the Rsiders. And I got that from TODAY's news.
ReplyDeletehttp://m.nfl.com/news/09000d5d82356866/not-so-fast-raiders-boller-to-start-over-palmer-vs-chiefs/
you can blame me. I was using old sports pages for the eagle. It was right there on the bar.
ReplyDeleteWent to the eye doc today. Grew up in MN. Saw Tsrkenton play as a kid. He is so depressed about the Yikes. I tokd him to check our blog.
ReplyDelete