HUGE AFC DOORMAT TILT
JAGUARS (1-9) +10 at HOUSTON (2-8)
This is it. Week 12 brings us to the biggest game in the Doormat this year. We're tilting the Barcalounger so far back, we're putting the TV screen on the ceiling. We've already set up the Lone Star beer I.V. by the Duct Tape Couch, and the Jaguar "Nachos Helmet" is already a dubious cesspit of dried salsa and chips with enough industrial spice dust on them to register on our vintage geiger counter. The carpet smells like a herd of longhorns just passed through, and we've herded all the feral cats in the 'hood into the backyard where an incredible racket is kicking up.
The Toxins have to lose this game to have any hope of taking the Doormat AFC crown. The NFC leading Atlanta Falcons (2-9) already bagged loss #9 tonight against the Saints, so it's critical to keep pace. The Jags can get loss #10, being the first team in the 10 CLUB this year. That's important.
Can they do it? WHO?
The Toxins have SIX straight games giving up a pick-six. That's outstanding, hasn't happened for at least the last 10 years. Maybe never.
Some other things to notice:
Jags will host the Toxins in two weeks, so maybe they'll just wait until then to really try.
The only reason Houston has the #1 defense is they give up the least yards. Big Deal. The offense turns it over so often, opposing teams only have to nudge the ball a few yards to score. They, in fact, give up 27.1 points a game- but, the Jags score only 12.9 per game, so.....
The Jags have the WORST red zone conversion rate, at 33%. So, the Stinking Herd in Houston will have to place 3 of those turnovers inside their own 5 to get the Jags to put the damn ball in the end zone. They may have to resort to a safety followed by a lousy punt-after-safety to get some separation from the Jags. Plus another pick-six at the two-yard line.
Houston is very good at quitting at halftime. The Jags do it for prep during the week.
Gags QB Chad Henne threw for 4 TD passes last year in Houston against the Toxic Cloud...but they still lost the game 43-37. If the Jags score 43 points on Sunday, that's a third of their total points for 2013.
Both teams can punt you blind, so I'm predicting 17 punts. With the Jags averaging an impressively tiny 2:12 for each possession, that's a lotta refusing to move the ball. Only the the punt king Buffalo Bills clock in lower, at 2:07.
Whoever shanks the most punts will pull out the loss. The game will be decided by a punt. You heard me.
TOXINS WIN. JAGS are the experienced, tested, and polished group in this year's field, and I have every confidence in them to lose this game.
-wacko
"the game will be decided by a punt...." well said. If there ever was a game where a punt could win it or lose it, this is the game. however do we know if Wade "the bum" Philips will be head coaching from the side lines ? this gives the edge to the toxins. Can't remember any winning team he has ever coached.
ReplyDeleteooh, right- with Kubiak up in the booth, with his head in his hands. That narrows down the point spread to 2 points.
ReplyDeleteJags have got to win in order for there to be parity at every level. We need two teams tied at 9-2. Give me parity or give me death!
ReplyDeletejg