THE DOORMAT DIVISION: NFL WEEK EIGHT PREVIEW

DOORMAT DIVISION: NFL WORST WEEK EIGHT PREVIEW

Before we make our predictions, maybe we should consider some facts!

Remember , the team with the EDGE has the best chance to LOSE.

Cleveland Browns at San Francisco 49ers

Ah, the Brownies continue their tour of the NFC Worst with a stop in my town.

Bringing their 6 point explosion in Cleveland with them, the Brownies face the second best defense in the league, which gives up only 16.2 points a game. Cleveland is averaging 16.166666667 points a game…so…how will we be able to tell if the Niner’s defense is working?? Niners only team in the league, except for maybe Cincinnati, that can punt 9 times and win the game. They just pin you to the 7 yard line, and wait for their punt returner to run one back to the other team’s 35,and then Frank Gore runs it in.

EDGE: BROWNIES

Indianopolis Colts at Tennessee Titans

Titans are this year’s mystery team. Dolts are not.

EDGE: DOLTS

New Orleans Saints at St. Louis Lambs

Is Sam Bradford back from his injury? Does it matter? Lambs averaging 9.3 points a game, and allowing 28.5 They are AVERAGING a blowout a week. They lead the league in sacks allowed. They are on a roll. Saints put up a tidy 62 points last week. Wonder how tidy they can be this Sunday? If this isn’t blowout of the week, I’ll eat my beignets. I’m gonna eat them anyway, but hey.

EDGE: LAMBS

Jacksonville Jaguars at Houston Texans

Gaguars kicked 4 field goals and beat the Ravens on Monday. They’re all field-goaled out. They may not bother to score. Houston will make the effort.

EDGE: GAGUARS

Miami Dolphins at New York Giants

Is it time for a cold and miserable game at the Meadowlands yet? Giants are not consistent, and they can play down to the competition, which they tend to do in every game, so give the desperate and fumbling Floppers a chance to BLOW IT IN THE FOURTH QUARTER AGAIN.

EDGE: FLOPPERS

Minnesota Vikings at Carolina Panthers

O, Boy, this looks like yet another excellent opportunity for a Come From Ahead Loss for the Yikings. Cam Newton and Christian Ponder square off in the “slingin’ Rookies” face-off, and whoever throws 3 interceptions carries his team to defeat.

EDGE: YIKINGS

Arizona Crudinals at Baltimore Ravens

Wow, the Ravens sure looked bad on Monday night. Crudinals defense is not as good as Jacksonville’s and they can score a few more points. Suddenly, the Cruds have hope. But, I can’t believe. Ravens rebound.

EDGE: Crudinals

Detroit Lions at Denver Broncos

Lions still reeling after getting beat, Doormat-style, by the Niners, and now have a two game losing streak going. Donkeys have Big Lunk at QB and a dubious defense. Lions should blow them so far off the turf, that’s it’s going to be Two Mile High Stadium.

EDGE: DONKEYS

Cincinnati Bengals at Seattle Seahawks

After that 3-point gem last week, I don’t know why the Seahags should even play any more games. That was perfect. But, I’m sure Pete Carroll has another crafty game plan up his….actually, Hags play much better at home, so this should be another ‘nailbiter.’

EDGE: BUNGLES

Dallas Cowboys at Philadelphia Eagles

Mr. Implosion, Michael Vick, the one man wrecking crew, returns to the gridiron after a week off and will see if he can out do his formidable counterpart, Tony Romo, in the disastrous play at the crucial moment department. Fumbles, interceptions, sacks, it’s all there and available for both of these guys. It’s just a matter of timing.

EDGE: COWPIES