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| New Offensive Front Line for Miami |
The NFL worst move into Week 7 showing great signs of true badness.
For the Dolphins, nothing else has worked, so the Miami Floppers decided to think out of the box and go with a new front line for pass protection. Chad Henne is going to need it as he has only thrown for 868 yards all season and balanced his passing with 4 interceptions and 4 touchdowns. The tough part is he has been eating tartan turf most of the road games. At least he gets soft, moist grass at home. This new front line, hopefully, will distract pass rushers long enough for Henne to actually throw the ball while not running for his life and screaming for his mother.
This week the pass rushers are the Denver Donkeys, a defense that gives up 300 yards a game average. So, their average. But this should be the Doormat Division matchup of the week. Denver was in the Doormat Bowl last year and may get there again this year. Miami has shown this season that they can lose any game. Should be a good time on the moldy duct tape covered couch.
And speaking of offense and defense ratings, the Patsies have the top rated offense and the lowest rated defense in the NFL through week 6. Who says you can't win without defense? Oh, they didn't always win? My bad.
And now it's time for all of the NFL Week 7 Predictions for the Doormat Division:
Seahags- 12
Brownies- 9
Donkeys- 24
Floppers- 21
Deadskins- 17
Pansies- 14
(Actually, this is a game the Pansies can win. But they won't.)
Cheeps- 10
Raiders- 35
Steelers- 21
Crudinals- 17
Lambs- 0
Cowpies- 16
Dolts- 13
Saints- 36
Gaguars- 7
Ravens- 28
And now for the blowout of the week--
Green Bay- 46
Yikings- 6
And let's give a Doormat shout out to the NY Zeps. Your doormat is at the design shop right now.
Bolts- 28
Zeps- 10
I think Michael Moore (wait, that guy?) is starting for Miami now. Henne hit the turf just one too many times.
ReplyDeleteI like this title NFL WORST PREDICTIONS. There's some many ways to interpret that.
ReplyDeleteSeahags and Brownies- Classic Doormat battle.
Donkeys and Floppers- biggest doormat faceoff of the year so far
Deadskins -Pansies- rookie QB derby. Pansies should win by 2 TDs.
Agree Pansies should win, though I picked Deadskins. I forgot Hennd was part of the QB shuffle. Teams always try changing QBs first, even in mid game. Why? If your line can't stop the blitz, it won' make any difference.
ReplyDeleteIt's Tyler Thigpen for Floppers now http://blogs.sun-sentinel.com/sports_football_dolphins/2011/01/miami-dolphins-bench-chad-henne-vs-patriots.html
ReplyDeleteWalkfish, you've got to stop reading the sports pages we use for the possum bed. That's from LAST January. Matt Moore is the starting QB as Henne is out for the season. The spectacularly doormat survivor, Sage Rosenfels, is the backup- 11 years in the league. a whopping 562 attempts in 11 years. At least his arm is fresh.
ReplyDeleteDOH! So Henne was benched before. Good grief. Well good luck to Moore. That's all he can hope for with the Flopper offense. Hey, the eagle just ate my hot dog!
ReplyDeleteLooks like the Lions may be on the way back to the basement. At least the schedule is nice and soft for Nov. They have the Broncos, then the Bears and then the Pansies. They should win two of three there. But then its Packers, Saints, Yikings, Raiders, Chargers and the Pack again. I predict their season ends 8-8.
ReplyDeleteI listened to some ESPN radio show on the way home from Eugene this morning, and they were commenting that it was the worst first half of football across the league they had ever seen. 9 teams went into the locker room with single digit points. They were laughing about The Floppers/Browns...they didn't really embrace The Doormat experience. All I could think of was the new lows in points, yardage, punts, 3rd down conversion, etc. The Doormat would be a great radio show every Sunday with this same format of commenting on every game as they are unfolding.
ReplyDeletetotally done as completely straight faced sports coverage.
ReplyDelete