Thursday, December 29, 2011

Flushing It out: Week 17 for NFL Worst

After two straight weeks of making the wrong losing pick of every game in the NFL, the Oracle from the Basement took the worthless frozen turkey from the freezer, dropped it from a hot air balloon over the Eastern Oregon desert (Harney County) and shot it with an 40 cal. machine gun. It's dead now and good riddance to the featherless blob of bad karma.

For Week 17, which is really week 16 but now we have byes and the season starts in August and the schedule is so stupid we even have Thursday Night Football, the Oracle will make its predictions using a much more scientific method. A Swedish masseuse will play a classic Ginger Baker drum solo on the Oracle's stomach while he burns incense and, in ying-yang honor of Vince Lombardi, chants: "Losing isn't nothing, it's the only thing." During this meditation, he will keep in mind the successful philosophy of George Castanza: "Whatever you think you should do, do the opposite." The Oracle will do this until the game scores just pop into his head, which is right about now. That's Science!

And here are the predictions for ALL games this week:

Green Bay- 28
Detroit- 36

San Francisco- 17
St. Louis- 21

New York Jets- 21
Miami- 28

Buffalo- 24
New England- 21 (OT)

Carolina- 39
New Oreleans- 31

Tennessee- 12
Houston- 28

Indianapolis- 10
Jacksonville- 21

Washington- 10
Philadelphia- 36

Tampa  Bay- 10
Atlanta- 36

Pittsburgh- 14
Cleveland- 17


Kansas City- 21
Denver- 12


San Diego- 14
Oakland- 16


Seattle- 17
Arizona- 21


Dallas- 10
New York Giants- 17


Baltimore-10
Cincinnati- 9

Chicago- 10
Minnesota- 28
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5 comments:

  1. wackoworldDecember 30, 2011 at 2:33 PM

    it's weird that it says your post was yesterday at 9:05, but it didn't show up on the blog for me until 2pm today. That's happened before.

    ReplyDelete
  2. wackoworldDecember 30, 2011 at 2:34 PM

    were you really that off?? I guess I've been in Holiday haze.

    ReplyDelete
  3. WalkfishDecember 30, 2011 at 4:14 PM

    I wrote it last night saved it but forgot to post...DOH. Unless I physically change the date and time, it posts with the date and time that the first draft is written.

    As for predictions, well, the Oracle didn't get them ALL wrong, but it was pretty close, especially on the big games.

    It's tough to be running away with the Moldy Carpet for 11 weeks and then, poof, it goes up like a fireworks factory in a lightning storm. But, you gotta suck it up and lose (which means win here) if you are gonna be a basement denizen. It's all about losing, even when you win.

    ReplyDelete
  4. wackoworldDecember 30, 2011 at 5:00 PM

    truer words was never spoken.

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousDecember 31, 2011 at 10:16 AM

    I like the bold predictions from the obliterated turkey carcass...many basement meltdowns. I'm going a little more conventional as I expect the Doormat gang to come through with a final loss for the season finale.

    Green Bay- 31
    Detroit- 16

    San Francisco- 37
    St. Louis- 3

    New York Jets- 27
    Miami- 28

    Buffalo- 24
    New England-38

    Carolina- 39
    New Oreleans- 45 (OT)

    Tennessee- 10
    Houston- 24

    Indianapolis- 30
    Jacksonville- 13

    Washington- 7
    Philadelphia- 31

    Tampa Bay- 10
    Atlanta- 31

    Pittsburgh- 24
    Cleveland- 10


    Kansas City- 24
    Denver- 10


    San Diego- 24
    Oakland- 27


    Seattle- 21
    Arizona- 24


    Dallas- 3
    New York Giants- 37


    Baltimore-10
    Cincinnati- 9 (this sounds soooo right)

    Chicago- 10
    Minnesota- 17

    ReplyDelete

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