Hello, Doormat brethren. Are you done watching the Bengal guy do the head first flip into the endzone? No? I'm not.
Due to Xmas Holiday travel, I am not at my Commodore 64 in the broom closet in the basement and therefore must enter my report from the world wide web. Like Santa Claus, our reach is global, though we still retain the personal touch. Unlike Santa, no one has left out edible cookies and are not waiting with baited breath for our arrival with the bag, man. No, my breath does NOT smell like bait. I did the hand-check thing. Thanks for asking. To those of you who follow our blog, we usually keep this side of the blog private, but not today!
Please note: to comment on these standings you must do so here at the blog.
FANTASY LEAGUE:
important note: I blew the math last week. Elvis' real record was 10-18, not 9-19, causing a wave of false hope over by the green drum set in the corner (with the possum nest in the bass drum). see below for ACTUAL record. Drum roll, please.....
Jimbo takes the overall Moldy Carpet Commisioner's Trophy with a week to go!
He can't be caught. With the Dolts inexplicably finding a way to win, and the stalwart contributions from the ever-dependable Cleveland Brownies and the St. Louis Lambs, Jimbo can start making room on his wall for the Grande Plaque du Mold.
Here it is, read 'em and weep:
Jimbo 6-24 (Browns, Rams)
Walkfish 9-21 (Colts, Cardinals)
Elvis 10-20 (Dolphins, Redskins)
Wacko 11-19 (Broncos, Vikings)
DT Rocks 11-19 (Jaguars, Seahawks)
Moose 12-18 (Chiefs, Panthers)
Last year's champ, Moose, comes in last, as the Carolina Panthers finally start sorting out how to play defense, now that it has become obvious they have the best offensive player in the league. Cam Newton is the guy Michael Vick was supposed to be. This guy is going to be just a pleasure to watch for his whole career. I've never seen anything like this guy. Now, if he can just work up a good flip into the endzone, he's gold. People in "Carolina" must just be pinching themselves.
Please note that the singular Moldy Carpet Trophy is still up for grabs. The Dolts and the Lambs are tied (Dolts currently win the tie-breaker, by either our standars - point diff- or the NFL's - strength of schedule). Lambs should lose in a walk in SF next week, but the Dolts are in serious serious danger as they travel to Jacksonville, where hope hasn't had a spring for an eternity.
The Yikings cannot win the Trophy, as they lose all tiebreakers. Sorry, Yikings, you blew it yesterday. They can't do anything right. But we knew that.
Merry Christmas/Pagan Tree Day gentlemen.
It should be noted that THE original Doormat Franchise, Tampa Bay was afforded no respect this year by our team owners. Had either Walkfish or myself been wise enough to snap them up, it could have been a fight to the finish.
ReplyDeleteFollowing a Tampa Bay Buccaneers loss in their early seasons, McKay was asked what he thought of his team's "execution." He replied, "I'm all for it."
John Harvey McKay (July 5, 1923 – June 10, 2001) was an American football player and coach. He was served as the head coach at USC from 1960 to 1975 and of the NFL's Tampa Bay Buccaneers from 1976 to 1984. In 16 seasons with the USC Trojans, McKay compiled a record of 127–40–8 and won nine Pacific-8 Conference titles. His teams made eight appearances in the Rose Bowl, winning five times. Four of his squads captured national titles (1962, 1967, 1972, 1974).
McKay moved to the NFL in 1976 to become the first head coach of the expansion Tampa Bay Buccaneers. In 1976 and 1977, Tampa Bay lost the first 26 games they played.
I knew my teams had the right stuff, and it was only a matter of time before the Dolts woke up from there slumber party and blew off the Andrew Luck Sweepstakes charade. I'd like to thanks all my coaches, trainers, and players who have found new and innovative ways to lose week in and week out. It's a very merry Christmas indeed. Better luck next year, Denizens!
ReplyDeletewhat I find amazing about the Lambs, is they don't turn the ball over much. They just give up huge plays on defense, and look pretty good from their own 15 to about their 45 on offense. The Brownies are only slightly better than the Raydurz over the last 10 years, and, of course, have basically been sad sack ever since they returned as an 'expansion' franchise back in the 90's. Don't forget, there were NO Browns for a few years there. What a relief that must have been in Cleveland.
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