Cleveland Browns 3, Pittsburgh Steelers 14
How many Colt McCoy jerseys are in garbage cans this morning in the greater Cleveland metropolitan area, do you suppose?
If you haven’t seen the Cleveland Brownies play football, you haven’t seen Doormat expertise at it’s finest. Trailing 7-3 in the 4th quarter, showing absolutely no life since the opening drive of the game (the ever-ominous opening-drive field goal), the Brownies snag a Ben Rothlisberger pass deep in their own territory and run it out to the 44. Somehow the Brownies get a first down. But then, the offensive line clears the runway for #92, James Harrison of the Steelers, really clocking QB Colt McCoy- knocking him woozy and to the sidelines. But wait! Roughing the passer. Ball moves to the 19. Brownies at this point are in serious jeopardy of taking the lead, and though plenty of time is left to still lose, the threat of victory looms. Backup QB Seneca Wallace enters the game. The NFL’s shortest QB then rifles a 13 yard pass for a first down at the 5 yard line. Wow!
Whoa right there. This is no time to wreck your 28th in the league 40.74 % conversion rate in the red zone. You could still catch the Lambs (37.5 %). If you were the coach, what would YOU do? Have the fleet footed Wallace run a naked bootleg? Are you KIDDING? No, send the man who is 0-8 lifetime against his AFC North opponents- the fuzzy headed Colt McCoy- back out there for this:
Intentional grounding (actually, he was down and it shoulda been a sack), pushing the the Brownies back to the 16, where, on 3rd down, Colt holds onto the ball long enough so every single Steeler defender can see where he’s looking, though it’s debatable whether Colt knew, and he chooses William Gay for the interception. Done! Whew, that was close.
Now, what do you follow that game-killer play with? Why, the longest gainer of the day for the Steelers, a 79-yard romp of a pass play TD that secures the loss. Game Over!
The loss improves Cleveland’s record to 4-9, and they’ve now nailed down 15 of the last 16 losses against Pittsburgh. That’s 8 years. 8. Brownies, at this point, could lose the remaining games still, finish 4-12 (they were once 3-3 a frightening brush with a winning record), and maybe get Matt Barkley in the draft. Should they be trying to improve, though I am not sure why a team with these kind of Doormat skills would do that. It’s just poetry in motion.
Great analysis, Wacko. It takes a truly great Doormat team to lose the way Cleveland did last night. Defense did their job but, as usual, offense was atrocious. How many other times have I seen it happen? The regular quarterback is horrible, he gets hurt, they put in the backup, he marches the team down the field to the red zone, they put the horrible regular back in. Poof! Drive over. It's like a tradition or something.
ReplyDeleteMaybe Chomps should be a toy poodle with a pink poof doo. Good grief.
Almighty, you are lookin' fine!
I'm a Doormat Fan now too, as once again I forgot about Thursday Night Football.
ReplyDeleteThursday night football is against the laws of nature.
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