Doormat Division Weak XIII Preview
Anyway, it’s a festive football atmosphere here in the Basement, and let’s get to what’s on everybody’s mind:
WILL THE NFC WORST MAKE IT THROUGH THIS WEEKEND??
Will we still have a division leader with a losing record????
It’s gonna be tough. How tough? Both Seattle and St. Louis should be .500 by Sunday night. I shay SHOULD.
0-4-9ers at Green Bay. The O-4ers (Oafers) have successfully worn out Frank Gore, and now Brian Westbrook brings his 1-concussion-left cranium to Lambeau field. Can the Niners resist handing him the ball 27 times? NO. Packers decide they are a great team in the middle of the game. 0-4ers don’t argue.
Packers 34, 0-4ers 13
Lambs at Crudinals
Yes, the Lambs, our reigning Doormat 2009 Champs, are leading a division with a losing record. Clearly, greatness does not go unrewarded. But, to lose this one, the Lambs will have to continue the dive-bomb they pulled in the 2nd half of last week’s game- for the whole game. The Cruds limp into Sunday with a 6 game skid (NFL best), a frustrated quarterback they can’t bench (rookie Max Hall…how bad could he be?), and no answers. The good news in Arizona? Becca is the Cheerleader of the Week.
Lambs 21 Cruds 10
Pansies at Seahags
Another major challenge for the Hags. The Pansies, the cream of the Doormat 2010 season, bring into Seattle a precision-loss team that has had only one blemish all season (of course at the hands of an NFC Worst team, the 0-4-9ers), and shows no sign of slipping up. Hags will have to have a turnover fest, with at least 3 of them inside their own 15 and 1 returned for a TD, to have any chance of losing this game.
Hags 14 Pansies 9
So, we will have to hope for miracles (which happen all the time in the Basement), or just wait for next week, when the Lambs get the Saints and the Hags visit the 0-4ers.
It could STILL HAPPEN, keep the hope alive.
AROUND THE LEAGUE:
Bears at Kittens
The Detroit Kittens are going with Drew Stanton at QB just in time to get sacked 9 times by the Chicago Bears, who have become kinda scary. It’s gonna be a long day at the Cat Box. Stanton has played some this year, and showed excellent Doormat skills with 3 fumbles and an INT against the Giants. Kittens can’t win on the road…byt they can’t win at home either.
Nils at Yikings
The Yikes had their emotional recovery game last week, and that’s gonna be it.
Nils win. Did I really say that?
Brownies at Dolphins
I don’t say much about the Brownies, not like last year, but these guys are still the class of the league. I promise a closer in-depth look at this amazing franchise soon.
Brownies lose easily.
BLOWOUT OF THE WEAK
Saints at Bungles
It’s dangerous going into Bunglonia and not coming out with a bunch of fumbles and missed assignments stuck to you, but the Saints will somehow survive this tarpit. Avert your eyes.
Buncos at Cheaps! Raydurz at Chargers!
Another couple of old AFL matchups, and you really can’t say for sure what’s going to happen, but it’s not going to be good for the Bunks or the Raydurz, unless some gris-gris, ju-ju, lucky charms are being waved in that Gorilla mask at Raydur nation headquarters and the Bronco statue on the way to Denver airport.
Good luck teams! Uh, oh, the wallpaper is peeling already. Maybe that old UHU glue stick was a bit on the dry side after all.
Bears vs Kittens? Yikes. Bears are kinda scary right now. And with the Kitten defense fading in the second half, they might be flatter than the tire on my wheelbarrow by the end of the third quarter.
ReplyDeletemy computer ain't showing the pic!! Hmmm. might be my antique browser on the Commodore 64, here.
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